Can you believe it? Gwas is off adventuring in the land of the Sun on this fine Beltane festival. As he is the one that usually sets an agenda (I improvise). It was up to me to create a celebration on my lonesome. Finally the side-kick gets to play on his own (queue maniacal laughter).
Beltane falls on the 1st of May however what I have often found is that there is a personal note to festival days. Thus I like to go with feeling as well. The 1st of May was a day of rain here in the UK. Maybe it was the weather or not, but I definitely didn’t feel the energies of Beltane in the air. Nope.
Work kept me awake to the early hours of Wednesday the 2nd and I was still typing when the light came in through my window. Ah yes! Definitely today. So I grabbed a list of places that I had written down before hand and dowsed as to where to go.
I started with Sacred Sites in Derbyshire…No no and no! Then Northern Wales. Nope!. I tried being more open with my criteria…Would I go north, south, east or west. This proved more fruitful and I ended up with a location of Alderley Edge. The sun hadn’t hit the horizon and I was off for that mystical wizards wood.
An hour later I was walking through the mystical wood and getting muddy. But the sun was out and the day was going to be special. You can just feel it sometimes.
Incense has been our standard format when it comes to Beltane or indeed fire element requirements but this time I really wanted to light a fire. A proper one! There are a few caves in Alderley Edge and my intention was to use one of those. I dowsed the paths for a suitable place and unfortunately the rods took me to a place that I recognised. It was the place where I had connected to the Earth a couple of years ago. But not a cave.
So it was to be incense? I asked the rods No. What then a fire? No, not here anyway. So I went through my mental list of activities and reached the conclusion that this place was to clear out old energies and ground myself. Obvious really since it was the place that I had connected with the Earth. Doh!
I leaned against the side of the cliff face and let my thoughts focus on the depths of the earth. I reached down into the roots and let the energies clear within me. Mere moments later I felt detached. Curious that really because it wasn’t the feeling I was aiming for. Nevertheless my work at this spot was done. Time for the fire, I thought.
So I asked the question, was I ready to light a fire? No. Gosh! More work to do. I asked was there more work to do? No. What? Was I done with Alderley Edge? Yes. Did I have to go some other place? Yes. Oh Ok.
Again, I went through the list of sacred sites and arrived at Nine Stones Close. Oh no! Another hours drive. Oh well so be it. The good thing about the drive was that the sun was bright as I headed towards it.
If you don’t know, it had been raining for about 3 days here in the UK. The amount of mud in the fields going to the Nine Stones Close site was phenomenal. As per the usual when I got there I began by greeting the Oak tree. Me and that Oak have a wonderful relationship. It has taught me so much about over coming fears.
I spent some time with the Genius Loci until I and it got comfortable. I then wondered about a fire. So I asked the rods, where should I light the fire? Again no fire! What’s with the Beltane festival these days? What then, another meditation? Yes it seems. But not at the stone circle but across the rock wall and under the Oak tree.
I leaned against the tree and felt the sun on my back, nice and warm. My mind was on fire. I had brought along some wood kindling and fire lighters but was being thwarted in their use. As I tried to clear my mind I heard a squawking from above and three crows flew out of the Oak tree and headed towards a land mark called Robin Hoods stride.
Crows are, as you know, my totem so I felt this to be significant. So I forgot my meditation and dowsed for a change of venue. Would it be Robin Hoods stride? Yes. So off I toodled off towards the heights of the Stride.
It didn’t help that the fields and climb was mud splattered but whats a guy to do? Up I went and this time I went all the way up to the top (usually I get a bit wobbly knees). I had a feeling that this would be the place for the fire. I dowsed and YES finally it was time.
I dowsed and found a good energetic place to light a fire. A few minutes later I had a small fire going and I was sat so that I was facing the fire and beyond that the Nine Stones sacred site (though I couldn’t see it from my sitting position).
In magical terms fire is often used as a gateway to travel to the underworld. That is where my thoughts where whilst I was watching the dancing flames.
An aside: 2007 was the first time I have ever encountered an entity personally. I had observed what you might call entity behaviour before that time. But I had never been the subject of an entities attention. That is until 2006.
Many years before then I had gone through a process of creating an internal sacred space. This space that was totally within my mind was a controlled environment in that nothing from the outside could get in. It was perfectly protected. Visually speaking it looked like a clearing in a forest. Often there would be other beings in the clearing but it was understood that these were aspects of my personality or subconscious if you will. The overriding feature of this space, was as I said, security and protection.
Then one April 2007 it was invaded. At that time I assumed that it was a fire elemental. It not only prophesied great change in my life but also presumed itself to be the instigator of that change. It literally said that it would push me onto the path of fire.
That is a long tale in the telling, enough to say that it’s prophesy came true and I was indeed pushed along a path of fire. Since that time and this I have grown immensely and have come to the conclusion that that entity wasn’t a fire elemental, I now believe it was a phoenix.
I stared into the flames on top of Robin Hood stride and my thoughts wandered to the time of the phoenix. Recalling that thought brought visions of the phoenix back into my thoughts. Scary they were too since that time and that image is associated deeply with great pain. I shook the thoughts from my mind and stared into the living flames. There was no wind to disturb us and the only sound was of the occasional bird and the crackling of the fire.
As I practiced a new technique of breathing I had learned from my Native American friends I felt that something was drawing near. My thoughts flew to my Energy Double. But no it didn’t have that feel. I knew that it couldn’t be the phoenix that I had encountered years ago. It (she) had said that we would never cross paths again. So what was this feeling of coming together?
No amount of pondering drew the answer. All that it was and is (for the moment) is a feeling of me and something heading towards each other. The flavour of that meeting was to be fire.
I dowsed for the meaning of this feeling but got no connections. All I have is a sense of “soon”. I left the tor in puzzlement. What is the future holding now?