The story so far…
- It all began with an investigation into a potergeist phenomena.
- Which had the flavour of something from my own past.
- Which led to me having the courage to follow a path with a heart.
- A journey that had me questing for a place of peace.
And so we are here. I had just run out of the car and back to the house to ask the lady of the house what was so special about a chest. A pink and yellow striped chest hidden in a back room. Karen, a little shocked, asked whether it had anything to do with the poltergeist. I said no, but it had familiar energies for me. She looked at me oddly and pulled me to the side of the door. Rob and Sylvia remained in the car.
In a hushed and sad voice, Karen told me of a sadness that had happened a few years ago. It was strange to let into something so intimate but it seems that we were both following our inner voice. She told me that she had had a miscarriage and it had broken hers and her husbands hearts. The chest contained clothes and toys that they had bought for the arrival of their child. An arrival that didn’t happen. I was both saddened and rather humbled to be privy to this deep and personal knowledge. So much so that for the moment I had forgotten my biography.
I made my way back to the car where Rob and Sylvia were continuing there religious debate from the house.What did you go back for, Rob asked as I got in. Oh nothing, I said, lost in memories. As we drove away my mind was creating connections. Of course, the spirals of energy in Karens home had been similar to the ones that I had found in my home all those years ago. Whereas mine where filled with dark energy Karens where the opposite, a sign of a healthy threshold. But I felt that that was just a backdrop to what had hit a chord, a forgotten chord that was surprisingly still deeply painful.
A good ten years ago when I was in the midst of marriage, my wife and I had had a miscarriage. We go through life encountering unique experiences. How are we supposed to know what to do, how to react, what it means? Lost in shadows is what we become in such times. Waiting for the light of the world to penetrate into our own personal world. So it was with my wife and I. It’s personal and I have not her permission, so I wont go into how we existed through those days. The energies in Karens home had awoken a resonance in me and I was on a path to discover what it meant.
Going back home
Work is very grudging with its time these days. It is almost possible to get a half days holiday out of them. However I persisted and was able to take such a couple of days after the above incident. I drove back to my old neighbourhood and pondered what was to be done. Herein we have spoken of Conception energies, life energies and death energies. What kind of energy was I looking for? What can I call it? A name came to me, it’s personal but will do for discussion. I called it Lost Energy. At the end of the street where I use to live is a wonderful weeping willow that I often communed with back in the day. So I sat under its eaves sending my thought down the street to my old home.
Was there any lost energy there? Yes, Could I reclaim it? Yes, Could I do it from here? No, Did I have to go into the house to claim it? Yes. And so I did. What kind of energy was this? It was conception energy that was forever severed from becoming one (at puberty) with its source. As I returned to the willow with the stone cupped into my eyes the emotions were seeping out of me and I was left crying with loss, regrets and a profound sadness.
No matter what we do with our dead, whether we bury them, burn them, drop them into the sea, all these acts are a grounding of their energies. So I was left wondering. What should I do with this lost energy? As is often the case these days I was in new territory and deeply personal too. A intuitive thought came to mind. Why not visit an old friend who knew much on these subjects, that ancient old yew. And so I did.
Guided by the Yew and Caileach I arrived at the Druids circle on the coast of north Wales. I brought out my rods to determine what was needed and was again guided by Caileach. Following in her wake I laid out crystals and incense to a point that was facing the setting sun. I sat down and called my energy self.
My energy self arrived and joined inside of me. It them took me across the lands and back in time to a place that was truly awesome. We arrived in the midst of the most wonderful gardens I could ever describe. Flowers of all the colours of the rainbow, birds that sang musical songs, waterfalls, hidden paths, mazes, smells that made you forget who you were. It was heavenly, indeed I thought that this must be heaven or the gardens of Eden (aren’t they the same thing?) My energetic guide however let knowledge flow into me. Oh my goddess, these were the legendary hanging gardens of Babylon. Myth, legend or real I don’t know but that is what I am given to believe.
I wandered through these gardens having all but forgotten my reason for being here, to find a resting place for my lost energy (my?). My energetic self hadn’t though and it nudged me this way and that until I came to a garden within the gardens. A secret garden. My energy self took me within to a pedestal that had a forever flame (I don’t know what that means) in it. Then it was gone, as if its job had been done. It was me and a cupped hand full of lost energy.
I didn’t want to let it go. It represented an almost impossible dream. But such was the wonder of this place, I thought to myself. Could there ever be a more suited place? So with heart that was heavy I lifted my hands above the flames and let the energy fall and merge with it. I was expecting some extravagant display but nothing.
I wandered around the gardens some more. Where were the people? The caretakers? Nothing. Then I thought to return, but how? My energy self had departed. how was I to get back to the sacred circle. With that thought I recalled the burning incense…a tether. I focused my thoughts with all that I could muster and shouted…”Be There!” and was wrenched, like a huge hand grabbing my left shoulder and pulling me forcefully back to the here and now. Even now four days later my left shoulder and arm are painful to the touch.
We that walk a sacred path are blessed with experiences and a path that is awe inspiring. Whether it is in our heads or whether it is real is of little consequence these days. It fills our heart with adventure and the most profound mystery.