Doubt is a soul sucking vampire! Harsh words, but really, wouldn’t you agree? In a previous post I talked about the Uncertainty Principle of Sacred Journeys. This principle would naturally increase doubt, but it would also naturally increase faith too, right? Do we have a choice as to which, I wonder.
Chris wanted to visit a sacred place that was a heck of a drive for a day out. Some 3 hours drive in fact. Still who am I to say no? So, one fine late Spring day we set off for the Cotswold and a sacred place called Belas Knap.
We arrived around lunch time and the weather was beautiful. Climbing the path up to the sacred place was a true delight. The views and the feel of the place was amazing. As we walked through the woods towards the sacred mound I could feel the need for some kind of preparation. I took out my dowsing rods and they confirmed that I needed to prepare before entering the place.
As we approached the mound, both Chris and I veered off to the right and towards the same tree. It seems that this was going to be the place to prepare. I stood beneath the eves letting my energy and that of this place resonate and felt after a while that I was done. The rods took me in a long spiral and back to where I had been standing…aparently I wasn’t done. So I stood some more, opening myself up even more. Again some moments later I felt the sense of being ready so I moved away again, only to find the rods taking me back to the same place. Three times is a charm as after that time, I was allowed to continue towards the entrance to the enclosure that contained the mound.
I opened the gate and was about to walk in when the rods turned me aside. I couldn’t enter. I asked whether I still needed to prepare? The rods gave me a “kind-of” answer. What was that supposed to mean? I asked for a place of preparation and the rods crossed where I was stood, outside the entrance. It didn’t feel right for some reason, so I took a few steps away from the entrance and asked again for a place of preparation. The rods clinked at this new place. It seems that all places where potentially a place of preparation. I was missing something.
Asking a few more questions, such as “did I need anything?” didn’t get me anywhere. Until I asked, “did I need to leave anything behind?” This got a positive response and so I emptied my pockets and asked if what I needed to leave was in the small pile? No. Okay, what then? Surely not my clothing? No (thankfully). A thought struck me, maybe I needed to leave my state of mind behind?
You might wonder, how did I come to that conclusion or indeed question. Wonder away my friend, because I wonder it too. Rationally we can’t explain the journey from A to Z all we can do is make the leaps (of faith) across unknown steps.
What was I supposed to leave behind? Another thought (for some reason) crossed my mind. Chris had been on the doubtful path for a while now and that word popped into my consciousness. Leave behind doubt!
Doubt of what? The path? What did I doubt that I had to leave behind. I could think of several things that I had doubts about…relationship, work, finances, health…hmmm that’s a long list. Was there any particular doubt that I had to leave? No. All of them? Yes. Weird! I had to leave all doubts behind before I could enter the mound enclave.
How do you do that exactly? How can you leave that behind? Walk in faith? Believe? What? Sometimes the challenges of a sacred path are truly odd. This being one of them.
There is a throwaway comment that I often hear…”Everything will work out for the best” I don’t like it personally. But I wondered whether that was what was meant here. Should I move forward with the state of mind that everything would work out for the best? The rods disagreed with my assessment. Terrific!
I tried a few more phrases in my mind but nothing fitted until I recalled the words of Caileach from only a few months ago…
“Whether you learn patience or not, your destination will be arrived at.”
It rang the correct note. Was this what was meant by leaving doubt behind. Knowing that my destination was a certainty regardless of the path? Yes, said the rods. So, I took a deep breath and let it out…and with that letting go, I also let go of doubt…for a few minutes at least. “All is taken care of” I thought as I again lifted the rods and asked them to direct me into the mound. They did.
Long barrow by description and long barrow in reality. There are two small passages on either side of the long barrow and I followed the rods as they directed me to sit in the first one. I clambered in and sat looking out at the beautiful vista. A thought occurred to me, this was exactly how I felt when I walked into the enclave. From the darkness into the light. With that thought, I knew that I could leave the chamber. It was just to have that insight.
The rods took me to the far side of the barrow and there I felt the need to light some incense and enjoy the view. I did this and saw that Chris had done the same. Alignment! I asked the rods whether I was done with this place (and indeed, whether there was anything I could do for it) No and No came the answers and so I followed them again inside the second chamber. There I was instructed to leave something behind.
When I set out on today’s journey, I had asked the rods what would I need. One of the things they directed me to was a Heart. It had a Rumi Quote on it…
“Love is the path and direction”
It was this heart-shaped card that I had to place within the chamber. Having done this, I climbed out and was taken above the chamber and seated. As per picture. What was I supposed to do? I thought of the heart that I had left in the dark. Was there a reason for that? I meditated on it and found that I didn’t like the idea of the heart in darkness. So mentally, I saw myself float into the chamber and take it back.
Should I be reclaiming a (my) heart out of a dark chamber?
That it seems was the message that I got from this beautiful vista.
“To walk without doubt into the darkness, knowing that the destination would be reached, and reclaim the heart.”
Was this a quest? No, it wasn’t something I had a choice in. I was already on it, and it had already (temporal weirdness) succeeded, I just needed to walk in footsteps that were already in the sand.