In the second and final part of my Autumn Equinox outing I was still at Pistyll Rhaeadr. I had been told that I could do everything in one place. Now that I had learned The Song of the Waters at the base of the waterfall, it was time to move onwards and upwards.
Taking into account what happened at Dinas Bran I climbed the steep slope very slowly. This was now a deliberate change of pace now that Kal has gone. Everything will be slower and more spanned out now. It’s about quality, not quantity now. One site is enough, done slowly and mindfully.
At the top I went to stand on the edge. Kal was an Edge Wizard, and as I faced that inherent fear we have which prevents us from falling from great heights I felt the thrill of being alive. I wished he was here too. I lit three incense sticks in memory of Kal, and lay the Irish green wand alongside them. The green wand’s power was growing, I could sense it. Or was I fooling myself? The Fool was one of Kal’s alter egos – a role he played with gusto. He enjoyed people’s reactions, and only those who could see beyond that began to understand that his wisdom was draped in a motley garb. The water jumped off the edge with an enthusiastic inevitability, pulling, drawing….I gathered the wand and stepped back.
I went to sit under the canopied rock a safe distance back from the edge. Sheltered from the wind and occasional rain I was able to quickly get into a meditative state of mind and call upon my spirit guide to help my work. I looked out down the valley, and as my gaze became fixed and my mind became free I began to see the ages pass. Huts of people came and went; armies marches, fought and dispersed; travellers arrived and left; and the landscape whirled through the seasons and ages in such a rapid succession that I stopped trying to recognise the changes. It was an amazing vision.
There was more to come.
As the torrential rain eased off, I moved from my position under the sheltering canopy and asked the dowsing rods to lead me to the place where I could find a new quest for the next part of the year – Autumn to Samhain. The rods led me on a fairly direct path over the rocks and down to the side of the river where three small waterfalls all cascaded into a pool before heading off towards their mighty drop over the edge.
As I tuned into the river at this location I was feeling the balance of forces at the Equinox. I was feeling the balance between the male and female energies. At this location particularly I felt that the male, female and neutral energy streams were represented by the three waterfalls coming together and joining as one here.
I feel like I should place some crystals around me. I’ve been doing that a lot since Kal died. He used to tell me tales of how his life got changed abruptly whenever he did that, and so I seem to be trying to do the same at this point. I have a clear quartz crystal in front of me, and behind me, as though forming a focal point for channelling some energy. Either side of me is a rose quartz and a green fluorspar. I stand with the three streams merging and connect to the Spirit of Place, and with my spirit guide, asking them to bring me insight into my next quest.
The Net and the Light of Connection
As I look up I see the sunlight sparkling through the trees – and this puts me into a natural trance almost immediately, such is the trained response that I have to this stimulus now. I am told by my spirit guide that she will be leaving me soon. Very soon. I have completed the water quest, and now she wants to show me one last thing. She tells me to look at the sunlight. I can see it, but can’t concentrate on it – it’s too bright.
She asks me to reach into my pocket and I pull out my most powerful crystal. I didn’t even know how it got in there! Nevertheless, I raise this smoky quartz pillar to my eye and it diffuses the light like a pair of sunglasses. Now I can see a matrix of light lines diffracted by the crystal’s inherent structure, and it presents to me a web of interconnected channels of light.
“These are the lines of interconnectedness” she says to me. “You have forgotten about your connectedness. You feel isolated and you must re-connect”.
Then she strikes me with a memory. I have seen these lines before. When I was studying entheogens. I had stopped because I got into a life or death moment where I had to make a choice. That shook me to the core and I vowed never to work with them again after that. Now I was being invited to explore once more.
Yet, it is still my deepest fear. Perhaps my last fear. The brink of death. And how raw that is after Kal. Yet, what is my life if not to explore? It seems that I may not have a choice except to meet the fear. This is my change.