I don’t often put myself into the hands of someone else to do healing, as I usually think that I can do most of it myself. However, occasionally someone else can spot something that you are either missing, or deliberately avoiding. When I went to see a fellow shaman, the wonderful Debra Delglyn, then what began as a chat and a quick massage of sore legs turned into a proper therapy session!
After doing Hellrunner again this year I had sore legs. I hadn’t actually anticipated a massage but when I got there I cheekily asked if I could have one, and Debra obliged thankfully.
Debra seems to use massage as an entry point for a greater healing experience. As my muscles relaxed she was sensing something wasn’t right through her bio-feedback mechanisms and her powerful intuition. Soon she was asking me to search for any painful place, then describe it.
I did a body scan and found myself saying that the back part of my brain was registering as a royal blue colour. That wasn’t anywhere near enough – she wanted more analysis!
What is this colour?
I went into the area to explore. It is regulation, stricture, the proper way to do things, limitation through cultural conditioning, “what you should do”.
With her healing hands Debra shifts and eases the pain. Then I am told to follow its flow. Describe it. Where is it now?
It is now in my diaphragm. It is restricting my breathing. It is a blue cloth, tightly woven, like a captain’s uniform. She helps me to explore it. Now I can see that it is woven of criss-crossing threads which I can loosen, unpick, and relax.
I think I am finished but she moves even further onwards. Where is the pain now? I can feel the tension in my kidneys. She informs me that the kidneys are the point where the chi flow comes into the body, and is associated with the ancestors. I must explore this.
I relax and go inside again. Moment later I am back at Tara this Summer Solstice….
I am in the Feasting Hall with all the clans. We are having fun. Aengus Roe – my previous incarnation – is there. He is more boisterous, more merry, and more jubilant than anyone else. Suddenly, the jubilation turns to shock. He can’t breathe! And being unable to breathe he panics, his heart races, and then stops.
A dark shape appears above him, but I swiftly move in to take its place. It was the Angel of Death, and although I cannot stop the process, I can be a part of it. Like an angel of mercy I reach down and take hold of Aengus Roe’s soul. I lift his soul out of his body at the exact moment when the crisis hits his body. Thus sparing him the pain and torment of the feelings that his body is having to go through.
Together Angus and I watch his body go through the physical death process. He turns to look at me, as though recognising who I am. I am him, but from the future. His soul smiles. This is how it should be.
I know that if I don’t leave at this point then some form of bond will arise between us which will forever connect us, and not in a way that would be helpful to my current self. So, I let Nature take its course, and I leave Angus in the clutches of the Angel of Death, to be moved towards wherever his soul needs to be….
When I return to the massage table I am in tears. The emotion of the moment was incredible, and a pure privilege to witness. I know I have done the right thing, and that somehow I have not only helped his passing, but have also removed the trauma of the asthma that I carry with me. I know that my fear has been removed from thinking that it could cause the same death to happen to me. Now that cannot happen!
By making this journey beyond fear, deep into the body, uncovering and resolving pain, I have changed the present and removed the royal blue limit that was holding me back from taking the next spiritual step. I can’t thank Debra enough for her incredible work. This lady is a proper magician, and so vastly unappreciated.