This has been a funny year. I’m not the only one to have said so – other friends have also mentioned that they have found it difficult to make progress this year. Loss, grief and illness. They set you back no matter what your beliefs.
So it was that I found myself unable to prevent myself from going out, and feeling that I needed to go and work on my quest for this time of the year, which was “Find the bosom of the winds“. Only two issues with that: I had no idea what it was about, and there wasn’t a breath of wind on this stifling hot July day.
Undeterred, with Kal‘s spirit of reckless adventure in my mind I set off following whatever direction I felt I should go in. Surely, I would be guided if it was the correct thing to be doing? Soon I was heading down the A483 towards Llangollen. As soon as I turned onto the road I knew where I was going. I was going to Dinas Bran. Part of me flinched. Hmmm…back to Dinas Bran. Where almost a year ago….
Beyond the memory
It was time to get beyond the memory of last year. I had attempted to reconcile myself with Bran and this place a couple of times in the last year, but I wasn’t sure that this had been completely successful. I think I had done what I needed to do at the time, with whatever I had in me to do it. Now I was stronger, and felt like this was the moment to resolve the issue.
As I began the walk up the trail something caught my eye. There was a very sharp pointed stone, hand-sized, looking like a dagger, right at my feet. I picked it up. This would either pierce Bran’s heart or become an offering – a truce offering. At this moment I didn’t know how I would use it!
Where is Bran?
When I reached the top I sat at the entrance to the upper castle region and waited for a sign to enter. I recognised that I had been in this spot many times before. It was becoming my usual entry point when I approached the site from the front. When I didn’t get one I realised this was part of the “be more intuitive” quest. I waited until I felt ready and then checked with the rods – ready.
I sat in my usual spot where I used to perch my staff just near to Bran’s frequent location. I prepared myself with a connection to the Land, the Sea and the Sky. Once connected to all three realms I felt ready to proceed.
Hail Hu Gaddarn!
When ready I felt that I needed to invoke a higher power. I extended my arms in salutation and opened my mouth fully expecting that the name of Bran would emerge. Instead what happened was that I began to intone the name of “Hu Gadarn“! Where the heck had that come from? I astonished myself, but the feeling was right and so I continued.
“In the 20th century Robert Graves, in The White Goddess, identified Hu with the horned god Cernunnos.” (source: BBC Wales)
With my face to the sky I perceived the clouds turning into the shapes of horses carrying the mighty deity past me. This lasted for as long as I held the belief, and then when I looked away and looked back they had morphed out of recognition. Such is a common lesson of druid magick. It’s power is in one’s ability to maintain attention.
Then I called to the wind spirits. Each time I did the wind picked up strength significantly.
I stood up to face the winds asking them to take my grief, my loss and my heartache away. They did. I put the last of it – the deepest heart pain – into my coral heart crystal and held it up to be cleansed in the waft of the wind. It soon was.
I made a vow never to forget Kal but said it was time to move on with my work now. I felt this was accepted but I felt the deep emotion of that moment.
I dowsed for the location of the bosom of the winds. It was the hollow near to the Bran power centre. I lay down and meditated. The hill became the bosom – the teat- the breast. Where I was I energetically formed a dome which was the nipple. My energy was arousing the nipple! When it was ready I saw my face reaching down to suck on it. A healing salving milk emerged and I was cured.
I asked who the breast belonged to and the moon appeared from behind the clouds. Her energy was linked to the hill. I was drawing her energy in. In my head I heard the song from the band The Cult “Brother Wolf Sister Moon” and the line “…and blow my tears away” repeating over and over in my mind.
When I felt I was done I looked at the clouds. I saw a face – it was Bran. Now I had work to do with him.
Bran was at the far end of the site. It was a corner that I knew well and it overlooks the site of Kal’s death. I placed the sharp stone to my heart and ritually pierced it to demonstrate my pain. I then ritually handed it to Bran and laid it at the spot. Then I put down my heart crystal at the tip of the pointed slate dagger. Walking in an anti-clockwise direction I took the energy out of the memory. Soon the heart stone held no lasting memory of the incident, and I thanked Bran for his guidance for inspiring me to do this action. Now we were reconciled properly.
My quest from the start of the year was properly done. I could start questing again.