Archive for the ‘Healing’ Category
In this final part of my Spring Equinox story I reveal the reasons why I had been linking the four elemental sites around Llangollen. I am also shown why this link was important, and how it relates to my work with the energy form of Galahad this year.
Only a few miles from the edges of Clocaenog Forest is the beautiful secluded site of Sara’s Spring. The Sara in question may well be the Patron Saint of Laughter that Kal talked about after he visited the site. This day I wasn’t interested in discovering more about the energy form at the site, only to come with questions that needed urgent answers.
I began by offering an energetic gift. I placed incense all around the spring’s rectangular wall and then offered all of the story of my day and my quest for this part of the year. This was offered through my heart chakra, freely and with love. I hoped that this energy would be sufficient as an exchange for what I was about to ask.
I used the dowsing rods to confirm whether I could, should and may ask these questions here. Luckily the answers were all a positive and the feeling generally was that I should finally get some answers to my puzzling quest after such hard work this day.
Q. What was the purpose of linking the four sacred sites around Corwen?
In answer I was shown the white shield in the stone that I had energised in Valle Crucis Abbey. With that image came the following explanation:
The White Shield of Galahad is emblazoned by a red cross. The shield shape is formed by the four sites. The cross shape is formed by drawing links between them. I needed to have that symbol in my head as an elemental cross so that I could emblazon it on the shield that I had acquired from Valle Crucis. Without that emblem the shield would not be at full strength.
“…at full strength”. That was an unusual phrase that I would try to deconstruct later. For now, I wanted to know more about the rituals at the four sites.
Destiny is a strange word, for me it means the goal of ones journey, the destination, if you will. We would never have imagined that our journey over the last few years would have brought us to and through so much. And if that were not enough, if we go back to the beginnings of our friendship, oh some twenty odd years ago the very seeds of our life now were planted. Really you ask? And with honest face I reply, really.
Twenty and more years ago Gwas and I sat across a table from each other. Gwas wearing the green and brown robes of a druid and I the trappings of a Wizard. Of course these were only imagined robes for in reality (or indeed fantasy) we were looking down upon little figures on a board game now infamously known as Dungeons & Dragons 1st Edition. Since that first encounter we played that game of and on for a fair few years and more often than not, of all the characters available, we would choose druid and wizard.
Here we are then, playing those roles for real. A coincidence? Chance fate? Psychological design? What does your dice roll tell you? I have learned over the years to say that, “reality is what you believe it to be” and as you have read here on countless occasion I do truly believe this none-sense.
When you wander in and out of the Wub enough times you cannot come to any other conclusion other than something odd is indeed happening. For me, that conclusion has come and gone many moons many ago.
Here we are then dear readers, once more around that spiral and delivering the years-end review. Although it is Christmas Eve as I write this, for us followers of a different calendar the wheel has already spun.
I speak of destiny because the first high-light that I wish to note was the discovery of an old and long forgotten prayer/wish that I had made when listening to my dear mum’s tales oh so many years ago. Let me remind you then of the path that I followed to learn that I had wished to become a Wali. Here is the link to that surprising and enlightening sojourn.
In these pages we have walked with legend. Nature spirits, sprites, goblins, gnomes and leprechaun’s have been our companions. We have discoursed with the land, with Albion and with its caretakers. Merlin and Arthur. Perhaps in greater stature we have knelt at the feet of Gods and Goddesses. I am awed and humbled in equal measure. It seems unbelievable that it was this very year that I completed a year long quest to become a knight. That conclusion was arrived at just as the cold of winter was departing this land. Indeed it was March 29th that that quest concluded, leaving in its wake more mystery.
Albion, to me says homeland, I guess we all have what we feel is a homeland. Some feel that they have lost theirs and this year I had a truly magical encounter with such few who were seeking to heal the rift between the people and the land. With amazing prowess and deft they maneuvered me (with my agreement I have to say) into becoming a part of their healing. As part of their persuasion they provided profound knowledge and experience as related here.
This year has definitely been one of learning. Although not much of that has been reported here however I can say that behind the scenes consolidations, explorations and reading has been an almost daily occurrence. I have learned so much and yet…and yet so little do I know. Over the years we have explored and indeed communed with shades, that which we once thought were spirits of the dead. This year I was introduced in a deeply emotional and personal way to an energy from the other end of the spectrum. Whilst shades are a kind of death energy, conception energies are on the other scale. A kind of life energy. Here then is the marker for the little adventure that drove my understanding deeper with a visit to the gardens of Babylon no less.
I am tempted to use the word again, what the heck go for it. It is strange that this year was called the Year of the Dragon. In fact at the beginning of the year I had penned a little draft concerning that very fact. Then as the year progressed it seems that Dragon was going to be the theme (of sorts) for the year. Gwas and I visited the emerald isle once again and there, dragon indeed became the loci of my experiences. A set of experiences that led to the gift of the soul of a dragon, or perhaps not so? You can judge for yourself in these pages. Certainly the genesis of an adventure to be had.
Do you ever wonder what Gwas and I talk about? Amongst all this stuff I mean? Well we have our un-resolved puzzles that we occasionally bring up and ponder as to the how, why and what of it all. One such puzzle was born on a trip to Dinas Bran this year, where believe it or not a hand sized Citrine vanished. I suspect that my energy double was behind it, after all it has done that kind of thing before and at the same place.
Talking about crystals, this year has definitely had some amazing crystal energy authored results. One such pattern (I believe) led me on a rather frightening and death-defying journey.
Each year the adventures get more bolder and more amazing, without exception. I have no reason to doubt that that won’t be the case in 2013. Gosh!
Come on, talk about adventure right? This is day two of our stay at Iona and I have already encountered a thought form, a dragon and something strange, as well as an awesome star filled night. And that doesn’t include the remarkable druidry of Gwas. Could it get more exciting? Of course!
If you recall, all the way back to my first post, one of the things that I wanted to know was how much the layout of crystals that I had done one August full-moon night in my room had had on the subsequent events. All, some, none?
I’ll be honest, my rational brain still balks at the notion that simple (well complex in this instance) crystal layouts can have a profound effect on our life. Come on, seriously? Using dowsing to determine some answers in this regard is rather odd too, but what else is one supposed to do? Curiosity has to be assuaged I’m afraid.
Gwas and I walked to the other (western) side of the Island in the morning. I have to mention again that the weather was truly amazing for this time and place of the year, indeed when we returned home we learned that the rest of the country had been deluged. Walking amongst the beaches and hillock of the western coast we searched for energy, commune and quest fulfilment.
I found a lovely empty bit of beach that invited me to ask my questions. I began by formulating the image of the layout that I had done. I then informed my intuition that that image was to be taken as the energy effect of that layout. See the picture above? Start at the bottom left with the circle with a symbol inside it. That’s the crystal layout. The line joins it to the letter E for energy. Got it?
So, we’re off. Did the layout influence me getting a job “J”, Yes. Did influence my getting a heart condition “H”, Yes. There were another couple of private questions that I added, C and S. Both of those were influenced too. I was both amazed and shocked. I wasn’t expecting such a pervasive result. But there you have it, believe or not, your choice.
This rather unusual bit of dowsing has been the genesis of a couple of theories about energy, crystals and influence that I am working on this winter. Stay tuned for some interesting revelations.
In the last two posts I told of how I had been guided around the Isle of Iona by an errant though form named Sarah. Gwas and I had climbed the hill known as Dun I (pronunciation pending) and as Gwas moved off to work on his quests I edged further and further west. The Atlantic ocean was calling me and with a fabulous sunset in the offing, how could I refuse?
Of course I couldn’t. As you will know, there are two power points in the day that have been recognised from the Fakirs of the East to the Shamans of the West, sunrise and sunset. A sunset over the Atlantic ocean is an amazing prize to behold. Thus I was sat upon the western most part of Dun looking out at the ocean.
As I enjoyed the view the thought form Sarah materialised besides me (yep, I am seeing things). So far she had been a constant companion, showing me the energy centres and finding the Dragon for me. Now she wanted to claim her part of the bargain.
I want off this Island she said to me. I have been here for so long and I have explored its length and breadth. Now I want to leave. Weird huh? A though form with dreams of travelling? It wasn’t what I expected to be quite honest. I had the rather nostalgic notion of it wanting to be dissipated or disintegrated.
Interesting isn’t it, that even a thought form doesn’t want to die. I sat and pondered this request and as I did so the Dragon from earlier awakenings came into focus on a far off islet (can you see the small island in the middle distance above? There!) I sent a thought off to the dragon, would it take the thought-for… (er) I mean Sarah off the island. It acquiesced. Excellent.
I watched as the dragon flew over me and whisked the energy form away and into the west. I honestly felt a bit sad at her going, she had been a companion for a day and a remarkable one at that.
The remainder of the early afternoon and sunset I pondered interesting (to me thoughts). For example I wondered how I knew that Sarah was a thought form rather than a shade and my intuition eventually provided an answer. She didn’t suck energy from me. I am loath to say the words ‘as a rule’ but in my experience a quality of shades is that they are inherent misers of energy. Grab grab grab is the watch-word with them. They can talk a good game and can often have some useful knowledge but whilst they are feeding you that with a spoon, they are feasting on your energy.
With Sarah, I felt a lightness of energy, ethereal one might say. Perhaps it was because she had been given energy, unintentional as it may seem. She was a wisp, a waif, a cloud, a feather. Gentle is a word that I would also use. In the time we spent together she had never stole any energy from me nor had asked for any. Odd that.
Another curio that I wondered about whilst facing the enormity of the Atlantic was that Sarah had seemed aware, conscious, intelligent. How come? Where had that come from. Again my intuition was filling in the blanks. Perhaps if a container is created it will be filled with awareness? As is always the case, our adventures to answer questions only give us better (and weirder) questions.
So concluded our first (yes first) day in Iona. The second had more adventures in store.
The story so far…
- It all began with an investigation into a potergeist phenomena.
- Which had the flavour of something from my own past.
- Which led to me having the courage to follow a path with a heart.
- A journey that had me questing for a place of peace.
And so we are here. I had just run out of the car and back to the house to ask the lady of the house what was so special about a chest. A pink and yellow striped chest hidden in a back room. Karen, a little shocked, asked whether it had anything to do with the poltergeist. I said no, but it had familiar energies for me. She looked at me oddly and pulled me to the side of the door. Rob and Sylvia remained in the car.
In a hushed and sad voice, Karen told me of a sadness that had happened a few years ago. It was strange to let into something so intimate but it seems that we were both following our inner voice. She told me that she had had a miscarriage and it had broken hers and her husbands hearts. The chest contained clothes and toys that they had bought for the arrival of their child. An arrival that didn’t happen. I was both saddened and rather humbled to be privy to this deep and personal knowledge. So much so that for the moment I had forgotten my biography.
I made my way back to the car where Rob and Sylvia were continuing there religious debate from the house.What did you go back for, Rob asked as I got in. Oh nothing, I said, lost in memories. As we drove away my mind was creating connections. Of course, the spirals of energy in Karens home had been similar to the ones that I had found in my home all those years ago. Whereas mine where filled with dark energy Karens where the opposite, a sign of a healthy threshold. But I felt that that was just a backdrop to what had hit a chord, a forgotten chord that was surprisingly still deeply painful.
A good ten years ago when I was in the midst of marriage, my wife and I had had a miscarriage. We go through life encountering unique experiences. How are we supposed to know what to do, how to react, what it means? Lost in shadows is what we become in such times. Waiting for the light of the world to penetrate into our own personal world. So it was with my wife and I. It’s personal and I have not her permission, so I wont go into how we existed through those days. The energies in Karens home had awoken a resonance in me and I was on a path to discover what it meant.
Going back home
Work is very grudging with its time these days. It is almost possible to get a half days holiday out of them. However I persisted and was able to take such a couple of days after the above incident. I drove back to my old neighbourhood and pondered what was to be done. Herein we have spoken of Conception energies, life energies and death energies. What kind of energy was I looking for? What can I call it? A name came to me, it’s personal but will do for discussion. I called it Lost Energy. At the end of the street where I use to live is a wonderful weeping willow that I often communed with back in the day. So I sat under its eaves sending my thought down the street to my old home.
Was there any lost energy there? Yes, Could I reclaim it? Yes, Could I do it from here? No, Did I have to go into the house to claim it? Yes. And so I did. What kind of energy was this? It was conception energy that was forever severed from becoming one (at puberty) with its source. As I returned to the willow with the stone cupped into my eyes the emotions were seeping out of me and I was left crying with loss, regrets and a profound sadness.
No matter what we do with our dead, whether we bury them, burn them, drop them into the sea, all these acts are a grounding of their energies. So I was left wondering. What should I do with this lost energy? As is often the case these days I was in new territory and deeply personal too. A intuitive thought came to mind. Why not visit an old friend who knew much on these subjects, that ancient old yew. And so I did.
Guided by the Yew and Caileach I arrived at the Druids circle on the coast of north Wales. I brought out my rods to determine what was needed and was again guided by Caileach. Following in her wake I laid out crystals and incense to a point that was facing the setting sun. I sat down and called my energy self.
My energy self arrived and joined inside of me. It them took me across the lands and back in time to a place that was truly awesome. We arrived in the midst of the most wonderful gardens I could ever describe. Flowers of all the colours of the rainbow, birds that sang musical songs, waterfalls, hidden paths, mazes, smells that made you forget who you were. It was heavenly, indeed I thought that this must be heaven or the gardens of Eden (aren’t they the same thing?) My energetic guide however let knowledge flow into me. Oh my goddess, these were the legendary hanging gardens of Babylon. Myth, legend or real I don’t know but that is what I am given to believe.
I wandered through these gardens having all but forgotten my reason for being here, to find a resting place for my lost energy (my?). My energetic self hadn’t though and it nudged me this way and that until I came to a garden within the gardens. A secret garden. My energy self took me within to a pedestal that had a forever flame (I don’t know what that means) in it. Then it was gone, as if its job had been done. It was me and a cupped hand full of lost energy.
I didn’t want to let it go. It represented an almost impossible dream. But such was the wonder of this place, I thought to myself. Could there ever be a more suited place? So with heart that was heavy I lifted my hands above the flames and let the energy fall and merge with it. I was expecting some extravagant display but nothing.
I wandered around the gardens some more. Where were the people? The caretakers? Nothing. Then I thought to return, but how? My energy self had departed. how was I to get back to the sacred circle. With that thought I recalled the burning incense…a tether. I focused my thoughts with all that I could muster and shouted…”Be There!” and was wrenched, like a huge hand grabbing my left shoulder and pulling me forcefully back to the here and now. Even now four days later my left shoulder and arm are painful to the touch.
We that walk a sacred path are blessed with experiences and a path that is awe inspiring. Whether it is in our heads or whether it is real is of little consequence these days. It fills our heart with adventure and the most profound mystery.
In my exploration of energy I have come to the hypothesis that intuition and emotion are the interface between our organic self and our energetic self.
I am sat during the final moments of the sun’s setting, facing the western shore looking out into the Irish sea. Behind and below me is the ancient sacred site of Pen Maen Mawr also know as the Druids circle. Between me and the circle are a set of incense sticks burning. 23 in total although only 3 or 4 can be seen from my position. They have formed a tether between the energies of the circle and myself. I have been told that I will need it. Surrounding me are 5 pure quartz crystals. Reminiscent of a powerful layout that I recall from an experience in the Emerald Isle.
Wisdom and guidance from an ancient friend and perhaps an infinite one has brought me here on this cold evening. Here in this spot the sun takes an age to disappear and it’s a good job too because I need some extra time to prepare.
A song comes to my mind bidden from memory. It is a song that has been played here before, down in the circle. It is the song that connects me to my energy self. That mysterious other that legend and myth speaks of. My thoughts aren’t as clear they have been on previous occasions when I have sung the invite to my energy self. I have emotional things on my mind this evening.
I look down at the pure white rock in my hand. It was a gift given to me on a beach that shores the Atlantic ocean off the island of Iona only a few weeks ago. At that time its purity was visible an clear. Now it burned with another hue, or maybe it was just me imagining it. A little of both perhaps?
Three hours ago
Can one have so much adventure in the space of one day, or indeed half a day? Do you know, this is what I think it feels like when one is following Destiny. Destiny, I wonder if its etymology is to be on a journey to a destination? Aren’t all journeys to a destination?
I had issues of death and life on my mind. Given that, my destination is a place where questions about such matters have always provided dividends. Of course my destination is that Ancient Old Yew tree that is the caretaker of a church in the village of Llangernyw.
As I walk through the gates I spy two other visitors sitting under the eaves of my old friend. I nod to them and remark at the wonder of the tree. They smile and agree and I ask if it is okay if I joined them, to sit under this marvelous creature. Commune with Ancient ol yew is as easy as it has always been and as I sit there holding a bright white Ionian rock I ask my questions.
- What to do?
- Where to go?
Ever faithful Yew responds with directions. Go to the Druids circle was the immediate response and even as he spoke I felt another presence enter the place. It was Caileach. I hadn’t communed with her since my episode in the hospital.
What do you have there ? she asked gently. Like she didn’t know. Nevertheless I held my hand open for her to see the pure white rock. I don’t know whether beings like her understand human emotions. Tears trickled down my eyes as I cradled the stone with soft gentleness. She stroked my cheek, as if curious about the tears. With one arm wrapped around the yew she gestured me away from that place. Go now to the Druids Circle and call upon your shining other.
Heart Challenge? Eek!
In my last post I had just been intuitively nudged into the A & E department of the hospital. You mentionchest pain in there and boy do you get A1 service. Plus a bonus for me was that I knew the nurses and I had arrived at aquiet time.
Within about 10 minutes they had me hooked up to everything and dropping a few pills to boot. Add to that a needle stuck in my arm just in case and I was feeling better. As a general statement, I am confused about a few things that happened over the next few days. My confusion comes from a lack of understanding rather than from any drugs that I was on. As a for instance…
Why is it that in the Cardiac ward there is a woman that comes around every few hours offering you tea or coffee? both of these are stimulants aren’t they? Why are they offered in a specialist cardiac ward? Anyone?
I digress. My feelings of being better were primarily because of the morphine that they had me on. I wasn’t in a complaining mood. Yummy. Anyway, they tested my blood and found something thatmight indicate that I had had a heart attack. The result of which was…more tests. Lovely.
A day later and they were still puzzled. Time to upgrade my tests. So they sent me to the par excellence in heart care hospital. Broadgreen in Liverpool.
They have wifi enabled monitors there and you can use your mobile and laptop. A stressed business mans dream cardiac ward.Oh yes and free coffee and tea 3 times a day (no herbal teas)??
Angiogram and a bet
Personally speaking I have a very cool definition of faith. Anything spiritual and I don’t mind the lack of evidence to support it. Anything of this world however and I do feel the right to have some kind of evidence. Even if that evidence is based on my personal rules.
My rules for evidence are highly soft. A crow flying in a particular direction at a particular time in a particular environment equals evidence in my book.
I was in this establishment for an angiogram. Here is the wiki page for angiograms. About two in the afternoon the Doc (Consultant) dropped in to my bed and gave me the gen (details). Basically here were the odds of misadventure during the procedure…
- 1/200 chance of a heart attack
- 1/200 chance of a stroke
- 1/1000 chance of death
Misadventure? I don’t think that was the word he used. Why go through with it then I asked. Because you’ll know what is right or wrong. Otherwise you won’t know. See? This is why I started with that little bit about faith. I could have faith that all is fine or I could look for evidence.
If you have been keeping up with my posts you’ll know that I like my evidential stuff. So I decided to roll the dice (I know, sounds dramatic but the procedure wasn’t as death defying as I’m making out. Give me some poetic license please). I asked the quack, er doc, what the tests might show. He gave the following…
- Everything is fine and it was an aberation
- Something is wrong but meds will sort it
- You’ll need a stent or two to fix it
- You’ll need a bypass.
In his estimation (how did he estimate it?) it was going to be somewhere between 3 and 4. Interesting.
You know, I have a good sense of self. Present physical circumstances taken into consideration I just know (knew) that I have a good heart. I don’t mean in a physical sense (although I don’t see why it shouldn’t encompass that) but in a hmmm life sense. Of course I am saying it myself but in personal opinion knowing you have a good heart is only worth anything if you can say it of yourself. Other peoples opinion is just that, other peoples opinion.
My point is this. I know my heart is good. With this evidential certainty in mind I challenged the quacks assertion. I bet that I fall in the 1/2 category. He smiled one of those wipe it of his face smile and took the bet.
Caileach makes an appearance
Really? Caileach? Hey, I have no control of who my subconscious conjures in an emergency. To preamble this a little bit, I’d like to take you through the psychological trash we accumulate in life (I’m no exception)…
From about an hour into my heart challenge experience to pretty much just after hearing the results of my angio. I had the occasional bout of irrationality. I laugh even as I type this because most of this blog falls into the category of irrationality however what I am talking about here is irrationality of the irrational kind. Bare with me. The first bogey that inflicts you is one of ignore it and it’ll go away. Reminiscent of the Bugblatter Beast of Traal…
The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast is so mind-bogglingly stupid that it thinks that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you. Therefore, the best defense against a Bugblatter Beast is to wrap a towel around your head.
Actually this is quite true IF we had the power of intent. We could literally intend away anything, even death, if the masters of intent are to be believed. Alas, I haven’t reached that stage of development yet. Thus I was occasionally plagued with the “It’ll all go away if I ignore it” thoughts.
The second bogey in the air was the praying to a higher power, God for instance. It’s not that I am averse to prayer. It’s the method that is instilled in us (or to be specific, me) that riles me. I had the occasional bouts of this, fortunately my personal understanding of things took steps to quell this.
Prayer (the way I was brought up) is a beseeching kind of affair. “Oh God, please let everything be okay” Eugh! I ditched these anachronistic durges for more interesting ones, such as…”If there is any being out there willing to lend a hand to help me recover with a no strings attached policy, then you are most welcome to do so.” Hey, you might think it is a bit over the top, but as a magi of sorts. Words are power, agreements doubly so! And even in dangerous times such as that I wasn’t going to sell my energy for extra crumbs.
Another version of this was a call to my energy double. You see, it’s when the perverbial shit is hitting the fan, that ones personal beliefs are tested. And, again, if I do say so myself, I handled myself admirably.In fact, when I think back over the last couple of weeks I pat myself on the back (no one else will).
Did a call to my energy self work? I think (and dowsed) it to be so. As always, we can’t see the alternative path…what would have happened if I had not got directed into A & E? Who knows, indeed, who cares?
The third bogey that plagued me was that truly detestable bargaining bogey! This one goes something like this…”If you make everything okay then I’ll never do x again” Seriously? I hope that was the morphine! But I confess, such notions are ingrained in us and they come out and besmirch our power during times of struggle. Let me tell you, I nixed those thoughts with nuclear power. No mercy!
So…I was taken into a oldie worldie dungeon (Broadgreen is going through renovations) for the angiogram. I prayed that they didn’t go via the groin (eugh) and it was granted (er…). They went in via my hand instead.
And, as I said, as they pushed the tube through my vein, Caileach made an appearance…