The Hedge Druid

Posts Tagged ‘cailleach’

Dinas Bran Window

It was a fabulous sunny day when we met up on the festival day of Beltane. Accompanying the sun was a fresh breeze that would be accompanying us off and on throughout the day. I had a feeling and decided to change the itinerary. Dinas Bran was to be the last place we were going to visit. However I felt that we should visit it first and so that was to be our place of beginnings.

We arrived an hour or so later and began the climb. Both Gwas and I have been increasing our physical fitness and so the climb itself was of no consequence. Other than the wind howling around us of course. As is becoming the norm, once we reached the top we split up and both headed in a direction that was purposeful for us.

As an aside Gwas noted a Bee (my new totem) floating around the entrance to Dinas Bran. He queried it as to whether we were allowed in and it flew into the castle giving as a well received sign.

On a previous occasion I had left a stone for my Energetic Double at Dinas Bran and although I had picked up a stone (on the slopes) for this purpose I felt that it was something that I would be carrying around for the day. Having said that my first stop was to sit in the window where I had left that earlier stone. As the wind howled an impossible thought occurred to me, we can only leave when the wind stops, I told myself. Even if it takes all day. Oh dear I thought immediately after this, sometimes I don’t half put myself into a predicament.

As I sat there the wind howled in through the gap and my attention was caught by the t-shirt I was wearing on the day. It had wolves on it. I placed the rock on a ledge with the intention of picking it up at the conclusion of this visit and was off, feeling my way around the site looking for a place of appropriate energy. I finally found a place that I had to climb up a wall to reach,

Sitting facing the sun I opened my thoughts to any impressions that would lend themselves to me. Let me say that although I had been promised another Blue Key (see this post). I had no idea of what to expect. Within an utterly surprising time I was visited by that wondrous being Cailleach. She smiled her signature smile and asked “How are you student?” Excellent I replied, I have given up fighting the notion that I am not her student, although it took me a while to do so.

Again she was presuming to read my thoughts. “That is good to hear, because you have had it all wrong about me.” I was puzzled and asked her to explain. “Last year when I came to you, you felt that if you became my student you would lose yourself and become a follower of me and mine?” Yes, I replied, wondering if it was a question. “That is where you are wrong, I am a teacher of the subject that you bring”, What? I queried, wanting a better explanation. “There is no Way of Cailleach,” she said, “There is only your way. You wanted to learn to release your Energetic Double, I taught you. You wanted to learn to become a Knight, I am teaching you.” She smiled,“I can only teach you what you want to learn”

There was a pause as I took in this really profound knowledge. A quick reprise of the last year’s (I first encountered Cailleach almost a year ago) experiences revealed exactly what she said. She wasn’t teaching me the way, she was teaching me my way. Profound!

Rather grudgingly, I said that perhaps I should have trusted her more. She laughed, “You had to fall before I can catch you” she said,I didn’t understand that Koan and let it slide.

I sat for a moment longer and noticed that the wind had stopped. It was a surprising experience because it had looked like the wind would be blowing all day. But it had stopped completely. I wondered whether this elemental magic was Cailleach doing, she wasn’t saying.

Cailleach

Cailleach turned to me then and showed me something, here it becomes difficult, because I can’t describe well what it was that I saw, but it felt like an elastic that had been stretched. Over the last year I have been stretched, now I am at my maximum and today, Beltane’s day the elastic was to be released. This day!

As is my rational want, I wondered whether ‘all this’ was an illusion created by an over active imagination or whether it was ‘real’. I noted the oxy-moron of asking Cailleach the question even as I voiced it.

Still she had an answer, cryptic as always. “Yes and no, I am what I am, but for you I am limited to what you can believe.” I was pondering these words even as I returned from my revelry…what you can believe, not what you believe?

The conclusion of this experience was noteworthy by the fact that as I turned to look at Gwas, he too looked up at me, having concluded his commune, coincidence of course.

We gave thanks to Dinas Bran and as we did many other travellers appeared from both sides of the castle. We had been fortunate to have had the whole hill to ourselves.

As we cleared up to leave I was reminded of the rock I had placed on the ledge and I went back to collect it. It had gone! Seriously it had gone! How? Who?

Kal Malik – being released

I think it must be the fact that i’m cutting down on my caffeine intake that this afternoon around 3pm I found myself nodding off at work. You know what I mean, right? Where you just can’t keep your eyes open. Fortunately my desk is right at the back of the room and facing away from everyone else so my momentary nap didn’t go noticed.

I say it was momentary, because from the clock on my computer I guessed that it wasn’t more than a few minutes at the most. However during those minutes instead of black slumber I had a, what to call it? Day dream, dream, vision? I’ll leave that up to you.

It was a dark place, that I didn’t recognise although I could see some of the outlines of it. A small cave perhaps but or a darkened room. It was cold but I couldn’t feel it (yes, I know that sounds odd but there it is.)

I knew that there was someone else in this place but initially I couldn’t see who or what it was. Then, either as my eyes got used to the darkness or as a light grew brighter I could see her.

Cailleach, once met never forgotten. I have only encountered her once before at Four Knocks in Ireland where she offered me a chance to become her pupil. Tempting though that offer was. I refused at the time and if I recall correctly she had said that we wouldn’t meet again and yet here she was. In a dream, at work.

“Hello again, student”, she said and smiled.

You know, I read up a bit about Cailleach after my previous encounter and I have to disagree with the press about her. She is an attractive lass I have to say, whose voice just wants to make you obey.

“Hello,” I returned, a bit warily.

She looked me up and down and walked around me. I turned to keep her in front of me. You have to remember this was just like a dream, I wasn’t conscious of being in work or anywhere like that. Which is odd for me, because normally in my dreams I am quite good at knowing that it’s a dream.

As she completed a round-about me she nodded her head, “You’ve done well” she said, “not as good as you could have though.”

“Thanks,” I replied, “I think” I added, I’ve never been good with authority figures. They irk me. “I thought we weren’t going to be meeting again?” I asked.

She shrugged and said something that really startled me, “I thought you said you weren’t going to be my student?” I looked at her and could feel my eyes tighten suspiciously.

“I’m not” I said insistently.

“I’m not going to argue with you, I just popped in to show you something”

Okay, I’m not one for the thee’s and thou’s but honestly I report that word usage exactly because I noted it at the time, she did use the word “popped” what can I say, not exactly Celtic is it?

“Interested?” She added as I was pondering her word usage.

I wasn’t going to turn Cailleach down (again) was I? So I said, yes.

She pointed off behind me and I swear her finger, for just a split second looked clawed, but on second glance was just an ordinary finger. I directed my gaze at where she was pointing…and saw a vision.

A vision within a vision, is that a first?

It was me in some place that I didn’t recognise. It was a huge hall, brightly lit and I was on bended knee with my head lowered. before me was a cloaked person, I couldn’t tell what or who it was, not even if it was male or female. The cloak was red and green and had some kind of emblem on it, like a leaf (alas google reveals nothing).

The figure, took out a wand, not a sword, but a wand and knighted me. Yep the whole left, right, left thing on the shoulders. Then I stood up and was presented with the wand that was used to knight me.

At this point I was shocked out of my dream and the vision within a vision by Cailleach’s voice right in my ear (she must have sneaked up on me). “Go quest!” she had said.

I was back in the realworld staring at my computer…remember Neo at the beginning of the Matrix film? Exactly like that.

I pondered the vision for a long while and coudn’t wait to get home and do some quick dowsing.

• Was it a dream or a vision? A vision
• Was it really Cailleach? Yes
• Even though she had said we wouldn’t meet again? Yes
• Was she offering me a quest? Yes
• To become a knight of some kind? Yes
• Did I have to follow this quest? half/half answer.

These half/half answers are really annoying sometimes. As you may know from previous posts it is when one rod turns and the other doesn’t, we have kind of deduced that it means “you’re half right, but there’s more.” Just to bamboozle me more, I asked…

• Have I unwittingly been the student of Cailleach? half/half

I’m sorry for such crappy answers and such basic questions. As Gwas and I have both found, it is difficult to get into the intuitive swing of dowsing in one’s mundane apartment/home. We’re just in the habit of doing it at sacred sites.

So, am I going to take up this challenging quest? You betchya!

Now then…”Which way to Mordor, Gandalf?”

Kal Malik

As the Wheel of the Year rolls through the Winter months we reach the first major milestone on 2011 – Imbolc. This festival is the first of the year’s Nature worship moments – a time to appreciate the beginnings of new life in the land. So, what are the origins and purposes of this festival? 

Daffodils soon to appear

A good explanation of Imbolc comes from the Chalice Centre website:

“The First of February belongs to Brigid, (Brighid, Brigit, Bride) the Celtic goddess who in later times became revered as a Christian saint. Originally, her festival on February 1 was known as Imbolc or Oimelc, two names which refer to the lactation of the ewes, the flow of milk that heralds the return of the life-giving forces of spring. Later, the Catholic Church replaced this festival with Candlemas Day on February 2, which is dedicated to the Virgin Mary and features candlelight processions. The powerful figure of Brigid the Light-Bringer overlights both pagan and Christian celebrations.

In most parts of the British Isles, February is a harsh and bitter month.  In old Scotland, the month fell in the middle of the period known as Faoilleach, the Wolf-month; it was also known as a’ marbh mhiòs, the Dead-month.  But  although this season was so cold and drear, small but sturdy signs of new life began to appear: Lambs were born and soft rain brought new grass. Ravens begin to build their nests and larks were said to sing with a clearer voice.

In Ireland, the land was prepared to receive the new seed with spade and plough; calves were born, and fishermen looked eagerly for the end of winter storms and rough seas to launch their boats again. In Scotland, the Old Woman of winter, the Cailleach, is reborn as Bride, Young Maiden of Spring, fragile yet growing stronger each day as the sun rekindles its fire, turning scarcity into abundance.” (source: ChaliceCentre.net)

Last year Kal and I went to Anglesey to follow the trail of Brigid along the River Braint. It was the first time that I full realised my relationship with birds of prey, particularly hawks. They were everywhere I went that day, culminating in them circling directly overhead when were ourselves going round in circles in the village of Brynsiencyn. It was a magickal experience which I will never forget.

This year Brigid has become transformed into Cailleach the crone aspect of the triple goddess. Now we are dealing with the other end of the spectrum of life and death. Whereas Bridget was the maiden aspect, Cailleach is the old lady. Therefore, I expect that the tone of this year’s pilgrimage will be different to last year’s. So, how did we know it was Cailleach and not Bridget this year? Well, she began to present herself to us – first at Ireland where she introduced herself to Kal, and then to me as a book-buying opportunity (the perfect way to introduce yourself to me).

How will this affect the way we approach the Imbolc day? In several ways. Firstly I would expect there to be a theme of life, death and regeneration involved somewhere on our long day’s journey to Lindisfarne. Here’s a section, again from the Chalice Centre site, explaining how Bridget came to symbolise being between the worlds of life and death:-

“Saint Brigid was said to be the daughter of a druid who had a vision that she was to be named after a great goddess. She was born at sunrise while her mother was walking over a threshold, and so “was neither within nor without.” This is the state known as liminality, from the Latin, limen: a threshold – the state of being “in between” places and times. In Celtic tradition this is a sacred time when the doors between the worlds are open and magical events can occur. “  (source: ChaliceCentre.net)

As a fire celebration Imbolc has become associated with anything symbolising fire, particularly candles. I will be taking some candles with me to light on Holy Island, and we will see where the dowsing rods direct me to place them, or where a sensation of it being ‘right’ comes over me. I will also be eating dairy products and maybe dedicating a few drops of milk or crumbs of cheese depending upon where I get to each my cheese sandwiches!

One of the things I need to do at Lindisfarne is to discover what the transition means for me. What tasks and duties will I be expected to perform in order to make progress on my spiritual path? Usually, I am led to a specific place to discover these answers, and then need to meditate to connect to the spirit of the time of year – in this case Cailleach or Brigid. Of course, I will report on what happens shortly after our visit on 29th January.

Gwas.

Friday 28th May – Baltinglass, County Wicklow

I got a bit carried away telling you about the good stuff and I forgot to tell you about the bad stuff, “Lesson #1″, or as we refer to it “The Leprechaun Incident“. Let me take you back in time to Friday 28th May. You may remember that we had just been on our first visit to the major sites along the Boyne River, namely Knowth and Newgrange. We had been having a wonderful time.

As we returned to the car from the Visitor’s Centre Kal reminded me about my ash staff. When should we go and see if it was still there? Well, as it was early afternoon I guess now would be a good time, less than 24 hours after I left it at the Castleruddery stone circle. Or at least, that’s where I hoped I had left it! Otherwise it was lost. I was utterly resigned to that idea. Remember, none of these material items is invaluable. None. All things come and go. Some things have their own path once inbued with sentience. Perhaps the staff and I had parted ways and someone else way now using it? It mattered little, yet I was willing to go back to the other side of Dublin, a good two hour drive, just in case it was still there. Hey – there were sites down the N81 that we hadn’t seen yet, so….nothing to lose, right?

When we arrived I vaulted the stile and raced to the Castleruddery circle – I could see the staff still propped up against the old ash tree that lined the circle’s embankment. Yeah, like I wasn’t bothered or anything? Right! I was relieved to have it back. We decided to see what else was in the area and for some reason we thought that a cluster of sites atop a hill in the nearby town of Baltinglass would be a good thing to go and see, even though there was no obvio9us way to access them. We entered the town of Baltinglass apprehensively and Kal was told off for using the toilets in a pub. Good start! There was an odd feel to this town, and no mistake. Both of us were on edge and flustered for some unknown reason.

We couldn’t find a good place to park or access the track or path that led up the hill to the ancient sites so we parked at the bottom of a lane that led to a farm. At every few turns of the track were signs warning us that we were on farm land, not a public highway or byway. Which we ignored. We checked the farmhouse for signs of life so that we could ask permission, but all was quiet, so we made our way quietly over a gate into a field populated with bulls, and then another with sheep. All the while we were climbing steadily up this steep slope, and the sun was getting hotter.

Conifer forest and steep slope above Baltinglass

We headed for a corner of the field away from the farmhouse – feeling guilty for not having obtained permission to cross the land. We reached a corner of a field where there was an unreasonably tall wall – some 8 feet high! We found what appeared to be a hole in the corner of the wall, and if we climbed and pushed ourselves through the gorse and bramble we could climb through and get into the safety of the forest where we wouldn’t be seen going up the hill.

The forest was made up of densely packed fir trees, old tall gorse bushes and old and thorny brambles. We tried to find and pick our way through a path through the plantation as best we could and about half way in we reached several dead ends and were forced to consider turning back. Despite sweating like crazy and being torn to shreds we pushed onwards – the GPS telling us how far we still had to go. It was the countdown to hell! After 30 minutes of fighting with the forest we broke free into the daylight again breathing sighs of relief and trying to cool down. We turned to each other saying things like “I never want to go through THAT again!”

At this point Kal realised he had lost his dowsing rods!!! The only pair he had brought with him on the trip. He was clearly gutted. We vowed to go find them if we could, but didn’t relish going back into the forest, and to retrace our steps was impossible. We oddly made the decision, in the heat of the middle of the day, to continue climbing UP the massively steep slope towards the top of the hill. After all, we were almost half way up!

What to see on Baltinglass Hill

Looking over Baltinglass, County Wicklow

We were on a really steep track like that up to Llandrillo, but made of mud not tarmac. As we finally reached the top, another half hour later – we found the hill fort ringed by a huge wide wall of boulder. After clambering somwewhat precariously inside we found the site littered, almost literally, with the remains of  some burial chambers – mostly damaged and strewn, and cluttered with water and pop bottles. Nice! We dowsed to see if there was anything useful up there – not a single thing. In fact, it was detrimental for us to remain there for any length of time so we were forced to leave rather quickly!

A curious altar within a chambered tomb atop Baltinglass

Solitary standing stone above Baltinglass

A Swift Return to Hell

On the way back down we found an abandoned small tent, like everything else around there it was randomly strewn around and in poor shape. Looked like someone had though that this hill might be good for camping, but had been disabused of that idea so quickly that they had to flee leaving the tent to its own fate! Another strange sign of destruction and a portent of doom that added to our growing unease. We headed down the back of the forest to see if we could connect with the point where we had entered it and see if Kal had dropped his rods right at the beginning;. A fruitless search began which yielded, as expected, nothing. As I sat ont he tal wall listening to Kal getting scratched and lashed a thought came to me – this was the work of a leprechaun. We had crossed into a leprechaun’s territory, and he had stolen Kal’s rods! Our story, as I played it back, was so filled with portent, so akin to the tales I had read in childhood of the activities of the Little People, so much a tale of woe and warning – what else could it be? I told Kal what I thought and he laughed, but not in a dismissive way, in a nervous way!

We moved through a field of bulls which woudl lead us back to the field through which we oculd reach the town again. Iwarned Kal not to stare at them or make a noise, but regardless of that the bulls began to charge us! We high-tailed it over the nearest low-point in the barbed-wire fence at a gap in the hawthorn trees, but were faced with the awful task of having to leap a six-foot a ditch which held three stinking rotting corpses of sheep and a cow – putrid with the sun’s activity, and making our nostrils reek of foul vapours! We almost retched but leapt over (just makign the five foot jump) and hurried down the hill for the corner and the gate to the trackway and freedom. We tried to climb quietly over the gate again past the farmhouse, but now the owner must have returned because three dogs set off barking and we had to run back to the car, sweating and panicky again.

This was the hell of our worst experience of dowsing ever. What lessons could we learn from this? Only one – when the warning signs are presented, and you have the option to heed them, be sensible and heed the advice! If Nature ways “turn back” then bloody well do it or face the awful consequences!!

Gwas.

The Hill of Tara – Thursday 27th May

It was late in the evening when we decided to grab a ‘travelling tea’ and head on up to the hilly complex of sites known as The Hill of Tara [info], the legendary site that was famous throughout Ireland as the seat of ancient Irish kings. We found it despite the SatNav trying its best to deceive us, as it had many times earlier in the day.
On approaching the visitor centre (how nice to see a disused church being put to good use) we spotted a huddled group of people (“loons” Kal called them) some dressed in traditional garb of cloak and sporting staffs, standing huddled on a grey gravelled spot next to a May Tree and at the top of the hill. We ignored them for fear of a conversation we might not enjoy, and instead contented ourselves initially with a recce of the graveyard that surrounded the now-closed visitor centre.

Official plan of Tara

In the graveyard Kal spotted a power centreA place where a person of a particular alignmentAlignment relates to the concept that humans have their own energy fields that are oriented or formed in a specific way such that the person is either suited better to one energy source of another. Some people have their energy fields empowered by the direct subtle energy force of The Sun, whilst others are empowered by the indirect subtle energy of The Moon. Due to the historical associations and symbolisation of The Sun with masculinity and The Moon with femininity we designate these alignments as either being ‘male’ or ‘female’ alignments accordingly. We interchangeable refer to people as being ‘sun-aligned’ or ‘male-aligned’ and similarly with the female alignment. (see ‘AlignmentAlignment relates to the concept that humans have their own energy fields that are oriented or formed in a specific way such that the person is either suited better to one energy source of another. Some people have their energy fields empowered by the direct subtle energy force of The Sun, whilst others are empowered by the indirect subtle energy of The Moon. Due to the historical associations and symbolisation of The Sun with masculinity and The Moon with femininity we designate these alignments as either being ‘male’ or ‘female’ alignments accordingly. We interchangeable refer to people as being ‘sun-aligned’ or ‘male-aligned’ and similarly with the female alignment.’) feels particularly comfortable and empowered. The place is an energetic centre where a particularly beneficial combination and formation of energies is formed into a pattern that is harmonic with the person for whom it can be called a power centre. aligned to himself (“I bet it’s in the middle of those trees”, he stated and then proved it) and I found one close by that was a definite circle in the grass. This done we headed for the “good stuff” in the main complex.
Kal was first to reach all the parts of the site adjacent to the graveyard. I was him atop the Mound of the Hostages, then he was bounding over to the twin standing stones (including the so-called Stone of Destiny) and then on to an earthwork next to it. Here he paused a while before coming back.

Entrance to the Mound of the Hostages

Whilst he did all that I was up on the MOTH watching the spectacular sunset as the sun’s rays played with the low-lying lands before me. I marvelled at just how many hilltops could be seen in all directions from this place. I felt the surge of energy coming up from the mound and noticed that I was standing in the smaller sized bare earth patch on the top of the mound. It was smaller than the other patch that was offset from the centre. About the same ratio as the sun to the moon, I mused

Inside the mound

Guiding Lights and Earth Elements

I asked the dowsing rods to take me to a place where I could interact with a guiding spirit who might help me through a pilgrimage type quest. I was set upon visiting sites over the weekend that would promote my consciousness levels through the attunement of my chakras. I was asking for a guiding spirit to lead me safely through that in this land where I had no concept of what I might find. The rods obliged by taking me to the nearby celtic cross. Not something that I had expected, so that was interesting, and not something I had expected to be interested in. I stood there for a few moments and felt a presence surround me as I stared wistfully into the oncoming sunset’s purple and pink light. This was a presence I had felt before – and I knew its name. This was my helpful teacher/guide of previous adventures, and with that re-assurance I moved on to other tasks, knowing we would meet again soon.

Tara's undecorated Celtic cross

I knew what I wanted to do now. At this place, a place of earthly treasures, of earth and stone, this was a place where I should try to fulfill the final part of my own Celtic cross – the fourth element in my crossed circle: the earth element. So far I had been successful in Cumbria at retrieving the assistance of three other elemental forces: water, fire and air. Here was an opportunity to re-acquaint myself with the earth element.

I did some work to recall this particular elemental. At the conclusion of the work I felt a tingle through my feet- and then I felt the power of the earth rising up through my legs. I felt like I should now unite all these forces again, so I called each of the other elements to mind. The appropriate element flared up inside me, and then around me. When I mentioned the name of the wind it blew. When I called the fire, the sun burst through the clouds to glint in my eye. When I called on water I smelled the dampness rising from the grass. When I called for earth my feet felt riveted to the earth and I felt an upsurge of earth energies beneath me.

Sun setting over Tara

This place is special. I felt absolutely empowered by it. So much so that I went off dowsing to find the most empowering place for me. It was at a low-lying earth work near to the church and next to the MOTH. I stood on that spot and felt replenished, filled, revitalised. And happy.

The Chakra Map

I wonder if the features of Tara’s hill could be considered to be a map of the chakras? I only postulate this after returning back to England and seeing an old plan of the site. I present this possibility as an aside, and as something that someone might like to investigate if I don’t get back there soon. Here’s the concept:

The only correlation is that there are seven “raths” identifable on the site, which are areas of embanked earth in a circular form.

The Crow and The Crone

I bounded back to find Kal who was, as expected, in the churchyard. He looked….disturbed. I told him how amazing it all was, and he trumped it. He told me he had been sitting next to the remains of a stone wall when a crow landed a few feet in front of him cawing at him. Kal has an affinity with crows – they are his totem bird – but this was different. When he asked it what it wanted it responded by telling him its name – it cawed at him “Cay-leach, cay-leech”. Clearly the bird had been speaking to him because he said that it offered to be his teacher, and to teach him about the ways of the dead, of dead spirits and their energies This is something he has been denying himself for several months now, even though he had been given the name “Spirit Walker“ by the yew at Llangernyw. He saw in a split-second vision as the bird flew up to join a noisy cluster of other crows that it was an old woman that had become a crow.

In the graveyard at Tara

He told me this and I asked if he had accepted the offer. He said he hadn’t decided yet, but had dismissed the crow for now while he checked it out. As I drove us back to the hotel we discussed what the potential spelling of the word “Cay-leech” might be. I suggested it might contain “Cai” as the first part, then perhaps “leach” as the second, because it sounded vaguely Gaelic in form. Kal Googled the name “caileach” on my phone. It came back with this: “Did you mean “Cailleach?” – he clicked the link – “Cailleach is the name given to the crone form of the Triple Goddess of pagan lore. She is primarily associated with death.”

Kal had seemingly come into contact with an archetype of the triple goddess of pagan lore herself, and the crone had offered to teach him all about death and death energies at a church yard at Tara – the Hill of the Kings. That was how it seemed to us at that moment. He was in a quandary as to whether to accept or not. I told him we would go back in a few days and he could decide then whether to accept the offer.

Little did we know that other events would make that decision easier for him over the next few days, and we would encounter more of Ireland’s legendary spirits in the process. The whole trip had just taken the most bizarre turn!

Gwas