The Hedge Druid

Posts Tagged ‘fear’

Borders Books

You guys in the States are lucky. For all of those in the UK, remember that fabulous book store Borders? Well one sunny afternoon I was perusing the books in the mystic section of the store.

It was a sunny day and I was browsing the ‘alternative’ section in the bookshop, when I felt a shiver up my spine.

I was about to pass it off when I noticed a man passing behind me. Nothing unusual in that, I thought, perhaps he had just brushed me as he passed and that is what it was.

After a few more moments, and that was all it was, I felt a growing sense of, hmmm, how to describe it? Fear isn’t quite right, alarm would be too obvious, I guess it was a kind of growing sense of urgency. Nerves that were getting tenser, as if in expectation.

Like waiting for some surprise bang that is going to come, but you just don’t know when.

It was then that I really paid attention to what was happening behind me. Not by turning around, but using my peripheral senses I kind of tuned in to my rear.

I was facing some bookshelves and there was ample room behind me, some 15 foot to the next book shelf and yet there was this man who seemed to be walking from shelf to shelf but walking quite (and unnecesarily) close to me.

Another lady was stood by a nearby shelf examining some books on Medium ship and I think the man must have noted my surreptitious observation because he struck up a conversation with the lady.

I was about to return my attention to my browsing and give it up as an active imagination, when I felt an almighty rise in fear and with a snap I turned in a flash.

As I did I caught the man staring at me, although he was still in conversation with the woman.

By this time I was kind of shaking, almost like having had a shot of adrenaline. In my right mind I should have left the place, but instead I went over and engaged into their conversation.

They were conversing on the merits of certain medium ship books, but as I listened in I realised that the woman was doing most of the talking whilst the man was distracted in some way. The woman was asking my views, when I ‘knew’ that the man was spelling us.

Call it what you will, energy entrapment, magic, spell, enchantment. In my terminology he was actively engaging in energy work that was detrimental to mine (and I believe the ladies) well being.

Effectively he was attacking us. Oddly I found that I couldn’t leave the conversation, indeed, I was frozen with fear or agitation (probably both).

The effect grew until something exploded in me. And amazingly breaking all social convention,I stopped the flow of conversation by raising my hand palm out to him and almost shouted “STOP”. It was a command on several levels, not the least to tell him to stop. An intentional command to myself to stop this attack.

But the most curious point of this interuption was that I hadn’t made it. What I mean is that I wasn’t conscious of making it. I could see what I had done and was aware of the effect but, I wasn’t conscious of any thoughts about what to do or say indeed, about thinking about raising my hand or saying the word “STOP”. in fact it was, what I guess possession is like.

I give this analysis in hindsight of course as, at the moment, I was thoughtless.

Both the man and woman was surprised by my outburst, the woman more so. The man tried to recover, but I interrupted him, and again I stress that “I” was an observer in this interaction as my thoughts had stilled.

I held my finger up to the man and said, “I will not have any of this!” and was about to walk away, when I turned to the woman and told her right to her face, ignoring the man entirely, “This is a bad man, you should keep away from him.” With those words I strode away.

Imagine that, normally social pressures of conformity and etiquette would have made such a interaction, virtually impossible. However there I was stepping away from something that my thoughts had been a bystander to.

The event had not finished there as as I walked away, it was as if an immense fatigue hit me, like I had just been in a physical struggle that was now over but I was depleted of energy, in a seriously bad way.

I was still on autopilot when I took a seat in the cafe section of the shop right by the sun streaming window. With the sun flowing in, I opened the book in my hands…

Going back in time a few minutes to when I first felt the energies shift. Without thinking I had reached out a hand and picked up a book from the shelf. I only have noted the action as being important because it was a book that I would not have picked up. At this time I wasn’t interested in the book (since I had heard of it, and knew what it was).

Now as I sat in the window, with my palm on an open page of this book I felt my energy being replenished and filled. It was like the energy of the sun was being translated by the ‘flavour’ of the book and thus recharging me with this flavoured energy.

The book was called, A Course in Miracles and since that time and this I have become more interested in it and my favourite speaker on the course, Marianne Williamson.

After about half-hour I was feeling back to my normal self, both in energy and mental consciousness terms. At that time I didn’t feel able to go ‘looking’ for this individual, fortunately I feel more able to stand against such an event these days.

I have occasionally thought back to that experience and have pulled several ‘personal’ conclusions.

• Personally I believe that I am an energy worker whose intentions are positive, what we might call good. I now believe (and know) that there are others out there who are negative energy workers who have bad intentions. In this instance I believe that the man was one of these.
• In the world of energy there are people who we might call ‘energy vampires’ this is a mistaken term because although in practice there are many who suck energy from others, but in almost all cases this is done unknowingly and unintentionally. When it is done intentionally the I would call him/her a negative energy worker.
• From the few occasions when I have experienced such, and the many instances that I come across in research. I believe that we have a core knowledgeable powerful intuition part of our being. Some might call it a higher-self, others I feel mistakenly attribute it to something other than themselves (like a guardian angel or spirit). Having said that I don’t disclude the possibility that such exist and aid us in many ways.

This “core” is a fascinating area of our life that needs to be studied more, because there are ways, I believe, to improve (or call) its effects in our lives.

• A feature of the above ‘core’s interactions in our life is that it leaves normal awareness bemused and idle. Thus the feeling of being possessed, because in essence I was possessed, by my core.
• Everything in life is fascinating to the extreme. Consider if we knew nothing about biology at all, and then we discovered microscopes, there is an entire universe in a spec of blood that we could (and indeed have) explored forever.

So it is with energy and its complex interactions. Since the time of the experience and this I have explored some of the energy implications that have arisen from this event. In particular what happened when I was being restored using a ‘translation’ of Sun energy.

Again, I just wanted to point it out here and I will be providing more experiential knowledge in the future.

So, what a frightening, interesting and enlightening experience. If I were a believer in the “it all happens for a reason” then I could put this up high on the wall as having done so. As it happens I don’t thus, we have to leave it as an “event”

Kal Malik – lightening worker

Introduction

This year has been the most fascinating year of my life. I have embraced areas of study that I has only ever fantasized about being involved with. I have learned things that I never believed in before, and have travelled further along my spiritual path than I thought I could. I am more aligned with my life purpose through the work I have done this year than I expected to be. I have visited places that I never thought I would see, and am more in touch with earth energies as a result of it.

In the following sections I answer some general questions that I posed to try to encapsulate this progress. Also included is Kal’s interpretation of those same questions – you will find these in the last post in the series. I hope that by the time you finish reading our summary of this year you will see just how far we have travelled in such a short time span. Some people we meet still pour scorn on our relative “youth” in these subjects. Of course they are right, we never know enough, but when you see how much information we are consolidating from so many sources, I think you will see that we are working hard to cover all aspects of subtle energyA form of energy that has so far eluded scientific definition. It is neither electric, magenetic, nor electro-magnetic, so far as our current technical equipment can measure. It does, however, exhibit many of the characteristics of magnetism and electricity in terms of its effects and properties. It may be a form of either or both of those energies that we have not yet identified. research, and our work is fast-paced, thorough, considered and wide-ranging. Compared to many of those we meet, who seem to have a part-time dalliance with these subjects, I’m sure you will agree our work is fast, deep and meaningful, and everything we learn we gain from direct practical experience.

In the light of the amount of information produced this year I have divided the summary of the year into NINE posts, which I will be releasing for the rest of this month up until Christmas. Between Christmas and New Year I hope to reveal the results of the work that we were supposed to have undertaken this year – to find out whether earth energies do respond to specific times of the year. I think we have our answer already, but I’m going to wait for the Yule Winter Solstice to cap that research off.

What have I learned this year?

I learned so much this year that I almost feel as though my life’s education has started again. When I wrote it all out I found that I had accumulated so much information that I have had to divide it up into separate posts. The topics I chose to organise them into are:-

1. Natural MagickThis is a system of belief that is often defined as being the appropriation and re-use of naturally occurring forces for the purposes of healing, transformation, communication, or a host of other subtle effects. The natural elements of the magick can also be seen by the under-pinning concept that the use of these forces should be co-operative rather than coercive.
2. Dowsing and Earth Energies
3. Tree, Spirit and Death Energies
4. Astrology and Astronomy
5. Ancient Sites
6. Miscellaneous
7. Highs, lows, surprises and disappointments
8. A list of all the sites we visited this year
9. A summary from Kal’s perspective

Please forgive the inevitable cross-over between these categories – I have tried to place the information into the category that was most pertinent, with the inevitable “other” or “miscellaneous” bucket to catch the overspill.

A big growth topic this year was that of Natural MagickThis is a system of belief that is often defined as being the appropriation and re-use of naturally occurring forces for the purposes of healing, transformation, communication, or a host of other subtle effects. The natural elements of the magick can also be seen by the under-pinning concept that the use of these forces should be co-operative rather than coercive., as was the Tree,Spirit and Death Energies category. It seems that Kal and I have had many of our preconceptions overturned and have had to eat our words on many occasions as a result of some detailed dowsing work and an open mind in researching those areas. I will start off with Natural MagickThis is a system of belief that is often defined as being the appropriation and re-use of naturally occurring forces for the purposes of healing, transformation, communication, or a host of other subtle effects. The natural elements of the magick can also be seen by the under-pinning concept that the use of these forces should be co-operative rather than coercive..

Section 1: Natural MagickThis is a system of belief that is often defined as being the appropriation and re-use of naturally occurring forces for the purposes of healing, transformation, communication, or a host of other subtle effects. The natural elements of the magick can also be seen by the under-pinning concept that the use of these forces should be co-operative rather than coercive.

The following information can loosely be classified as “Natural MagickThis is a system of belief that is often defined as being the appropriation and re-use of naturally occurring forces for the purposes of healing, transformation, communication, or a host of other subtle effects. The natural elements of the magick can also be seen by the under-pinning concept that the use of these forces should be co-operative rather than coercive.” – the use of nature’s own energy forces and human creative potential to produce new effects and visions. My definition, as you can see, is quite general – I don’t include the usual categories associated with Natural Magic, such as herbology, spell-making, and the like. I started out the year by defining the rules of working in this manner, and the additional information is supplementary to that, and only limited by those rules and the human creative potential, it would seem. The information is on no particular order, other than being grouped here.

1-1. Some rules of Natural MagickThis is a system of belief that is often defined as being the appropriation and re-use of naturally occurring forces for the purposes of healing, transformation, communication, or a host of other subtle effects. The natural elements of the magick can also be seen by the under-pinning concept that the use of these forces should be co-operative rather than coercive.:

• Intention must be honest, if only to yourself, in order to succeed
• The desired effect cannot be commanded, it must be negotiated, or asked for respectfully
• To contrive a circumstance in order to display an effect will guarantee failure,if not abject humiliation
• Your abilities are limited by your desire to learn, and the depth to which you can form a trusting relationship with Nature
• A degree of humility is required to execute natural magickThis is a system of belief that is often defined as being the appropriation and re-use of naturally occurring forces for the purposes of healing, transformation, communication, or a host of other subtle effects. The natural elements of the magick can also be seen by the under-pinning concept that the use of these forces should be co-operative rather than coercive., and smugness at a positive outcome will garner no respect.
• Conviction and sincerity make the relationship stronger, and the outcome more defined.
• Leave your intention fuzzy and a fuzzy event will occur which only partially fulfills the intended result.
• Results come when they should be delivered, not when you want them to be. Again, tied to the concept that the forces of Natural MagickThis is a system of belief that is often defined as being the appropriation and re-use of naturally occurring forces for the purposes of healing, transformation, communication, or a host of other subtle effects. The natural elements of the magick can also be seen by the under-pinning concept that the use of these forces should be co-operative rather than coercive. will not be ordered around.

First stated early February. I have not been able to contradict any of these as the year progressed.

1-2. The historical/mythical figure of Merlin is a significant totem figure for me. He is like a form of spirit guide, but not personally connected to me. I encountered his presence at the ancient site of Dinas Emrys, near to the mountain of Snowdon in Wales – a place traditionally associatesd with Merlin.

1-3. Totem animals: Kal has the crow, I have the dove/pigeon/eagle. Theysometimes indicate significant events, sights or show us direction, and can guide our intuitive responses when we go out to sacred sites.

1-4. A pilgrimage may seem like an old-fashioned concept, something that may only be a religious remainder. Our experience of inadvertantly making such a journey was something quite profound: a spiritual journey through the chakra points, each one awakening at the special places we visited, and each one progressively opening up channels to higher spirituality and connectedness.

1-5. This year saw the emergence of the double helix of energy in my meditations. I now began to connect using two threads – one male and one female. This seemed to echo my progress into the second stage of Druid development – the Yew Stage.

1-6. Following a path with a heart has opened up my life to influences that have enhanced my well-being and desire for life. A path with a heart may be defined as being acts or intentions, decisions or choices that one makes that are instinctively right, and not based upon the usual rational characteristics of what is sensible, beneficial, rewarding, or easy.

1-7. Some sacred sites promote the ability to perform magical acts, such as telepathy. I encountered this particularly at sites that were less “famous”, i.e. less visited, and yet which still maintained a strong energy. The covered alleyway at Créhen in Brittany, in particular, demonstrated to me how easy it was to transmit information to another person whilst there.

1-8. Seeds or fruits containing seeds seem to serve as perfect gifts or things to leave at sacred sites. I felt from the outset that something ought to be given in return for gaining skills, visions or information, but the usual trinkets (ribbons and the like) did not suit me. Instead I have found that, for me, a seed, an apple or a pine cone, or something similar always gets a positive response when dowsed as to whether it is a suitable or fitting gift to leave at a site.

1-9. Sigils, often dowsed as manifestations of a site’s energy signature, can be found and used as means to gain entry into an energetic relationship with a site.

1-10. Cup-marked standing stones within stone circles have been found to be maps which can unlock the power centres within the circle for energy work. This now needs to be tested at a greater number of sites, but for several already this has proved to be accurate.

1-11. Setting up protection before doing any energy work in a new place is essential to self preservation. I now have to thank the unusual small man whom I met in Alderley Edge a couple of years ago – you were right and I was wrong – thanks for your advice!

1-12. Overcoming fear in a forest or other natural space allows you to be as one with the place, and this opens up the range of possible experiences, as animals will not be frightened of you. I now want to discover how being fearful may change one’s energy field.

1-13. I was shown a vision of an ancient magician performing a ritual in which the circle’s energy was activated and he was in charge of the energy. The elements of his work are things I will now have to put into practise myself next year. I have learned that rituals have their place, but that their paraphenalia is not for me.

1-14. Sigils and crop circle formations ought to be meditated upon to act as keys to the entry into the Otherworld. This was the lesson of the Knighton Hill maize circle. I have yet to discover anything from these patterns, however, so can’t confirm this.

1-15. A dream seat can be found at major stone circles used for transformation – this promotes shamanic flying, or out of body experiences of the profoundest kind. The Llangernyw experience definitively proved this to me, as did the Castlerigg stone circle.

The most magickal experience of the year

Glastonbury at Summer Solstice when I felt integrally connected to the whole area’s energies and felt like I was in an increasingly mystical state of mind.

Gwas.

The Slap

A while ago Kal and I discussed a concept that we termed “The Slap“.  It came to our notice when we were learning how to dowse, and more crucially, what we could dowse for reliably. Whenever we overstepped our capabilities we would encounter a response or an event would happen that would put us right back in our place again, and send our thoughts reeling from the encounter. As I progressed through druidic practise I would often try to meet limitations and barriers to progress with a positive air. That was sensible. Where this fell down. however, was if I forgot my place in the grand scheme of things and got a bit ahead of myself - a bit cocky. Here’s the story of how I got “slapped” when out walking in some woods at dusk whilst staying in Germany’s Rhine valley.

This post is a follow on from the post Merlin’s Sign – Or How To Startle A Badger. To get a flavour of the situation you may want to read about how such interactions SHOULD be done.

It Never Rhines But It Pours

In my previous post “Merlin’s Sign” I had ventured a short way into the midst of a forest in the Rhine Valley. My evening excursions had been getting further and further away from my base, but the next night after my “success” I was keen to take it further and so made my way out as quickly as possible so that I could have more time to go deeper into the woods. What could I learn from the previous night’s lesson? I had thought about it long and hard and these things seemed to be the message of the sign that I had been shown: be still, silent and assured in the face of fear and you will see wonders emerge before your eyes. I might add to that that preparation for the experience was also necessary.

Could I learn from this tonight? Could I, with some extra time, go deeper into the forest and face deeper fears? This night I would try to test myself – how far into the forest would I dare to go, and what would the effect of the fading light be upon my willpower? I imagined that as I had already conquered The Fear it would be a cinch.

I walked deep into the woods, far beyond the ‘safe place’ I had sat the previous night. This far into the forest the air was cloying, the light fading, the branches thicker,closer and more forebidding. I caught glimpses of the sky through the tangle of leaves and branches and occasionally I could see that it was still light outside the forest – just.

I emerged at a junction of three ways where I paused waiting for inspiration. Instead I got a wave of indecision and anxiety. Something was going to happen, I could feel it. I ignored the feeling and took the path that seemed to go deeper in and, as Robert Frost had identified, was the less travelled path. Now the path dipped down into the depths of the woods. The path itself was lined with overhanging vegetation – ferns and grasses – making the way unclear. I stopped. I waited. I listened intently.

 Was It Bigfoot?

Then I heard the footsteps of someone walking at the same pace I had been walking at. I heard a firm footfall from down in the vale of undergrowth, approaching from down the bottom of the hill, just beyond my sight. I knew I didn’t want to meet anyone. I was here for a magical experience after all, not to have a conversation. Who could be walking through the woods at that time of night? Only someone I probably wouldn’t want to meet! What if they addressed me in German and asked me questions, and got angered by my inability to understand them? What if, what if…? Thoughts came flooding and racing and I panicked. I turned around and walked back the way I had come quickly.

After five minutes of walking and turning to see if anyone was following me, I realised something: whoever, whatever I was about to meet – I should have had the courage to meet it! No-one had emerged from the path. I could see that, as the trees were lightly spread in this part of the forest, there wasn’t anyone nearby at all. The footsteps never materialised into any known form – neither animal nor human.

I caught my breath and assessed what had happened. Clearly I had failed this little test. I walked back in disbelief. Here, this very night when I had been anticipating an experience, one had been offered, and I had fled from it. Dejection! And so, much as I tell you about the successes on this journey, so I also feel it is right to relate the failures. I think it shows how difficult the task is. You expect one thing but get another. You have to be well prepared, and I had been arrogantly confident without taking care. I got my come-uppance!

Gwas.

Chased by shadows.

“Tale Man tell me what’s wrong with my life, am I only here to question? No, sir, you are undoubtedly here to cajole and make suggestions.” {Julian Cope – “These Things I Know” – ‘Black Sheep’ album)

At least the rain had stopped. I parked outside my new favourite wood, whose location, if you don’t mind, I won’t reveal by name. It’s one of the most beautiful places I know, so it seemed the most receptive to the kind of work I intended to do. Tonight, close to midnight, I wanted to commune with the wood after conquering my inevitable fear of being alone in the dark. “Fear?” I hear you scoff. Oh, really? Please be my guest to go and try it in a wood near you! Anyway – take my word for it – at the very least its a proposition to make your hackles react.

I had been watching TV whilst eating my tea – more staring at it than watching it, really. On screen was a beautiful cedar tree which had been mutilated by a cowboy who dared to call himself “tree surgeon”. In the same show was the tale of a wood-chipping firm in Essex who pulped tree remains. Messages and hints were starting to appear, but I was even more determined now to go and make contact, if only to apologise for the horrific atrocities that our kind inflicts upon those they don’t appreciate!

Anyway – soon I walked to the main entrance to the wood and stopped. I knew there was a well-trodden path there somewhere but I couldn’t see it! I couldn’t see more than five feet ahead while my eyes were trying desperately to adjust from light to darkness. I felt a wave of fear…”what was that noise?”, “what’s that dark shape?”. My brain went into panic mode and I wrestled with it, assuring my rational grumblings that I had a purpose to this, and it would just have to shut up and go with it. Easier said than done, however!

I had a trick up my sleeve though – a shaman’s trick for when the rush of the psychedelics overtakes reason and engenders fear. All evening I had been listening to Julian Cope’s new album “Black Sheep” which contains a good few memorable ditties with amusing lyrics. Just the job to rally my intention on a damp, dark and uncertain night in a forest! I started singing in my head and humming gently too.

“These things I know: sometimes we must leave the city. These things I know: your verse may lie if your chorus is pretty.” {Julian Cope – “These Things I Know” – ‘Black Sheep’ album)

I stepped into the blackness slowly with a half-smile and oozing pleasant vibes. As I hummed I chatted in my head about my reasons for disturbing the trees that night. I replayed the thought about wanting to gain knowledge, to become comfortable in the company of tress at all times and seasons, and just because I enjoyed their company. I started to develop an air of pleasance when light shapes began to crowd my peripheral vision. “What was that?” “Is someone there?” I flinched.

I picked my way slowly along the path, one slow step after another until I came to a point where the trees opened out to reveal the night sky. I stopped to look at the stars and to calm down. I tried to ‘zone out’ the rustlings, the drippings and the swooshing noises. “That is all part of the night and the trees.” I told myself. My reason was beginning to give up this senseless fight to flee the wood.

I waited until I could feel my eyes swim a little. Good, I was relaxing now! Geeeerrrrraaaaarrrrrrggghhhh – a plane was descending overhead on its way to Liverpool Airport. I felt the trees “bristle” with annoyance, and listened to them shake their branches at this buzzing wasp, splattering raindrops all around, including one on the back of my head – right on the top! I laughed. “Yes, it’s our doing, but with the current recession they may not be as frequent soon.” I proferred as condolence.

I felt more comfortable now and my eyes were getting accustomed to the lack of light and were compensating to brighten everything up. I could make out the path now, so began to walk on. Why not? All around were only small trees, and I wanted to speak to a larger one. Five paces later I was standing ten feet in front of a very tall but slender oak tree. Yes, I’ve been practising my tree recognition, and could tell even in the dark. “I-Spy” points for me! I lit a small roll-up cigarette while contemplating my next move – dare I go on? Dare I approach? What if I get nothing – nothing at all? How will I feel then? What if…shhhhhh. Inhale! Relax. Aaargh – the light from my lighter nearly blinded me!

I had had several “knock backs” from large oak trees in the past, but I wanted to try again. I walked slowly forwards asking to find the edge of the tree’s nemeton with my hands. I felt it in my stomach first though, and retreated a few steps to make sure I was right. Yep – here it was – the outer moat, if you will, the ‘motte’. I stopped and paid my respects, again going through my intentions and purpose, and asking as nicely as I could for a chance to commune. “May I enter your space?” I asked. A slight push back against me. I hesitated in moving forward, so I asked again. Same response.

It was the cigarette! It didn’t like it being close. I felt that was the situation, so I retreated back down the path and ditched it before returning to try again. A little chastened I approached again feeling for the outer nemeton. This time when I asked I got admittance straight away and stepped towards the tree. I was two paces away from the trunk when my stomach hit a brick wall and knotted! There was an inner nemeton! And I had not been admitted to this part yet. I stopped and thought of how to continue. I re-stated my intentions of seeking knowledge, paid some compliments to the tree, suggested we could both benefit from an exchange, and put out some good vibes to the tree as a ‘taster’, if you like, of what I meant.

The nemeton barrier dissolved and I was able to walk up to the oak’s trunk. As I arrived I was welcomed and told to sit. I sat, and noticed that the place I had chosen in the dark was perfectly shaped to seat me, and I was very comfortable sat with my back against the tree and leaning me head back onto it’s mossy trunk.

Rapidly I slipped into a meditative state – a very deep and powerful one that came on like a dizzy spell, but which was very pleasant too. I ventured a question, “May I ask you a question, lovely tree?” I cleared my mind for a response. A voice now projected into my empty thought stream, “What do you want to know?” I reeled a little from that. It gets me every time! It’s a joyous experience, but I kind of still don’t expect a response and it always startles me. Ha ha.

I thought for a second. Don’t blow your chance, I told myself. Think of something! I focused, “What is the nature of the energy that trees connect to sacred sites – what is its purpose and how does it work?” Phew – where did all THAT come from? I didn’t have time to wonder because I needed to relax the chatter.

The response came, as it sometimes does, audibly first for me. I’m a musician (of sorts) and I love music. This often means that Nature responds to me first in “my own language”. A sharp wind rustled the branches to my left and raindrops sprayed the floor of the wood for a few seconds. Aha! Water?? What about water? I didn’t understand. Another image was projected into my third eye cinema: it was a picture of the “Water Cycle” that we all get taught in school.

The Water Cycle

A question followed in my own voice, but not initiated from me; “What is the nature of that image?“. The question was being rebounded on me in my own terms! Cute. I fumbled for the answer…”Er…system of flows….er,…..circulation?” Fireworks went off in my head and the voice repeated, “Circulation. Circulation. Circulation.” It knew me well! I have an idiosynchratic memory and important things need to be drummed in. Here the tree was insisting I at least keep that one concept in memory!

When the tree felt I had got it the image began to be embellished. I saw a picture of trees drawing down energy from the sun, the moon and stars through their foliage, then working together under the direction and intent of the larger trees to corral and circulate the energy captured and re-worked. The energy generated is pushed out into the landscape down meridians to invigorate and seep into the landscape, promoting growth of new or young trees and plants.

My brain was straining to take in this living picture of the whole system working together in a huge cycle of energy flows involving all aspects of nature. I had a question, though, “What about stone circles where there aren’t any nearby trees?”. Again, an answer followed before I could think further – “Trees work at many levels. Shrubs like the gorse, the heather, even grass are fed by energy flows from trees, just at a smaller scale. We can move energies great distances when we all work together. These smaller plants in turn feed the landscape with energy and keep the flows circulating.” “Think fractal.” I saw in one moment a living flowing picture of the way it all worked together, and was stunned by its intricacy and ‘togetherness’ – a co-operation of purpose between species and levels to maintain energy flows to promote growth and life.

I couldn’t take any more. My head was full of wonder and amazement. At that moment another plan flew over head and I began to awaken from my reverie. Everything came back into focus again. Before I disconnected I pulsed waves of emotion into the tree – waves of gratitude, joy, and sheer pleasure. I invited the tree to make use of any of this energy for as long as it wanted to, and I felt the palpable stream of my energy being drawn as though with magnets upwards and into the tree as I glowed with joy and wonder.

I stood up and turned to thank the tree again for the experience. Then I walked back with none of the hesitation that I had when I first approached the wood that night. I felt no cold, and my head was full of thought of “circulation, circulation” as I left the confines of the trees to step back into reality.

“The flowers, the trees, the beasts, the people receive peace until the morning, when it all starts again.” (Julian Cope, “Psychedelic Odin”, ‘Black Sheep’ album)

Gwas

Find a higher path

PART ONE: The build-up to facing fear

When intuition calls these days I answer that call – even if the call will entail some difficulties, and my reason can pop up any number of good reasons why I shouldn’t follow “that squirly notion“, as McKenna puts it. Today I became intent and set upon a course of action that would challenge me to the core – I was going to spend some meditative time lost in the thick of a forest in the wee small hours.

Now, not much of a challenge on the face of it, but there are a host of hurdles that will greet you should you choose to do the same: it’s raining heavily outside, it’s getting cold at nights now that autumn is here, I’ve got a million things to read, watch and listen to in front of a warm fire. A host of excuses not to do this. But do it I will. There is something to be learned by doing this – if only that I could pick a better time or place!

The image that came to me was of the passage in Emma Restall-Orr’s book “Living Druidry” (mentioned many times on this blog) where, in an accompanying and illustrative aside, Emma describes her encounter with the trees of a forest in just such an environment: dark, cold and lonely.

In addition to wishing to meet and face down my own fears, I have a motive inspired by dowsing too. On our visits to site we often find enclosures, or the remains of enclosures in the shape of cromlechs or dolmens structures, which were once enclosed. It would appear that transformative experiences, or rites of passage, or simply quietude, was important within the framework of druidical life of ancient cultures in these fair lands.

There must be a reason for seeking such darkness. Is it simply to close off the five senses and their nagging input? Well, meditation in a quiet place can do this without the necessity for total darkness. Is it simply to put the ‘initiate’ through some kind of trial by fear? Perhaps. I am aware that all or none of these ideas will help me tonight. Tonight I expect to go through many emotions and states of mind, and all in the pursuit of a deeper connection with Nature, an experience of her that few people get to feel, a connection that few people seem prepared to make in these times of electronic distraction.

I make no judgement of that. I only state it as a fact known by me, and operated upon accordingly. I’ve rarely been one to do what I’m supposed to, and I’m certain that meditating in a rainstorm within a forest at midnight would rank high among the kinds of activities that no-one I know would sanction or encourage.

So. On my return I will record my experiences, and see whether I have discovered or learned anything about working with Nature, or whether I am simply a wet, cold and foolish wannabe druid.

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