Posts Tagged ‘hill’
Sickness, Shadows and Swords
As the nights draw in here for the Northern Hemisphere countries our lives begin to change in subtle ways. We lose the lightning power of The Sun in the mornings and evenings. As this power is depleted the changes may even be mirrored in our body chemistry, and consequently in our thought processes. For many people “Seasonal Affective Disorder” (SAD) is a fact of life – they get more depressed in the Winter months. Luckily, I don’t suffer from this, however that doesn’t mean that I am not prone to dark influences. Here is my very personal story about how my psychic shield got breached, and I became a victim of my own dark shadow. If ever there was a horror story to accompany a Winter evening, this is one that will chill your bones!
I can’t tell you how difficult this is to write. I am a strong independent person with what I often believe is a will of iron. Once my mind is set I generally achieve what I set out to do. In addition, I am very healthy. Physically I am in peak condition, my immune system is very strong, and I pride myself in keeping myself in good condition mentally, physically and spiritually. That is, after all, my whole reason for being – to keep my soul’s cage in the best of working conditions. So, it is with some level of embarrassment that I found myself getting ill in a number of ways recently, most particularly not being in total control of myself. I was being influenced by a shadow self.
Jung and The Shadow
In Jungian terms I was encountering what the great psychologist termed The Shadow. This concept is so prevalent in film, television, fairytale and mythology that it hardly needs an explanation. We know it as the often sublimated and suppressed urges arising from our usually latent desires and instincts. Almost every horror film is a depiction of the struggle with The Shadow. When it is let loose it has the capability to put the ‘light’ self in a tricky situation, because it does not obey the rules and the established norms of society. In my quest to be a “good person” I may have pushed these instincts too far under the surface, and now they had chosen to re-emerge at a time when I was physically and energetically weak.
I have an inkling now about what triggered it to become dominant, but only because I have managed to dowse it after the fact. The Shadow creeps up on you from behind. What I did know at the time was that I was acting out of character with how I perceived myself, and out of step with my spiritual goals. I first noticed The Shadow emerge in the dream world, where my dreams began to include unusually violent or sexual situations. I put it down to any one of a hundred reasons, and carried on. It would go away.
Next it began to make itself mentally present during the day. My thoughts began to turn to matters that I didn’t usually allow. Forbidden subjects. Deviant topics. If you’ve had these thoughts yourself you know what I’m talking about. I began to wonder what was going on now. How could I be having these thoughts? I hadn’t had thoughts like this since my early teens, the years when my mind was struggling to define itself in its emergence into the world of adulthood, when laws and ethics were being created and challenged with equal rapidity, when I was defining the boundaries of my self.
The final straw came after a few days of The Shadow manifesting itself within me physically. I was now doing things, making things happen in the physical world that my poor helpless moral self was appalled at! Finally, it rebelled with sufficient force as to cause me to stand up and summon the forces of my will power to re-assert control, if only for long enough to decide to do something about it. This had to stop, or my world was going to come crashing down around me and I would be left in the middle of it, alone, wondering what the hell had happened! Hell indeed. Time for action!
Spring Equinox 2011 Part 4 – The Nature of St Catherine
St Catherine’s Well – Boot – [Portal] [Map]
In the fourth part of our Spring Equinox journey you find the intrepid adventurers heading for the Eskdale Valley – a ravine of insurmountable beauty that forms the vista for the Hard Knott Roman hillfort at its eastern end. In the basin of the valley is the village of Boot. Perhaps I should have said “At the foot of the valley…”? We parked at Dalegarth railway station and walked to the junction where the Brook House Inn marks the starting point for many of the walks in the area. We were heading southwards towards the River Esk in search of St.Catherine’s Well – a recently re-discovered and restored well that was somewhere on the hillside nearby.
St Catherine’s Well
Taking a right turn at Brook House Inn we walked along the track past some houses until we reached a small church, To my eyes it had the distinct look of a Templar church design – a flat design with protrusions at either end but which were staggered rather than directly opposite each other.
From the church the path then follows the River Esk, and soon we were walking upwards onto the slopes of the hills that border the river. We stuck to the left-hand side and when we came to a fork in the path we chose the left-hand path. This led us to a gap in a wall where we found a beautiful path of moss-covered stones leading up the hillside. We were sorely tempted to follow it, but the spot on the map indicated that the site might be further along so we continued for a short while, but then Kal twisted his knee in a moment of over-exuberance. We stopped and re-assessed. Was this a sign not to continue on this lower path? We turned and walked back to the mossy path and picked our way through the rocks up the hill until it opened out into a thrashed bracken heathland, spotted with old gorse bushes. Now we felt we were close to the well. Moments later we felt we had found it.
There were two possible sites. One was ringed by a stone construction but didn’t appear to have much water in it, and the other was more watery, but had fewer stones around it. As they were next to each other we got the dowsing rods out. Which one was the correct well? They both were! They were connected and the spirit of whatever we might determine “Catherine” to be was at both of them. We settled down in the afternoon sun to rest a while and breathe in the Cumbrian ambience. It was delightful – Spring was making itself felt and I for one was letting it!
A Hedge Druid’s Grove: Finding my own nemeton
A bit of a break from the reports of visiting ancient sites and dowsing. In this post I want to tell you how I found my own sacred grove. As a fledgling druid I have got to a stage in my training where I want to be free to experiment with the suggestions that I am reading and hearing from other people. I have my own ideas about what it means to be a druid too, and now I need somewhere that I can be free to try these things out. A place where I can feel totally alone, uninhibited and yet within a protective space. I’m looking for my Nemeton, my sacred grove. Yesterday I found it. Here’s how that came about.
For many months I have been driving past a hill on my route to work. It has been catching my eye many many times. Sometimes I have not been able to ignore this impulse, and I have had to stop off on occasion to go for a walk, either away from the hill, or up past the hill where there is a defined path regularly used by walkers. No-one seems to go up the hill, however, because it if fenced off with barbed wire, and covered in bracken and undergrowth. I too have been content to wander all around it for several weeks. It “just so happens” that I have been spending more and more time in that area for “no apparent reason”.
Yesterday, on the way home from work I felt an urge to stop off. Occasionally, and particularly when the sun is out and the day is fine, I get these urges to stop off. Usually I go dowsing some question that is in my mind, or a topic that I am working on at the time. This evening I stopped the car at the usual place and wondered if I should take my dowsing rods. “Not tonight” came the response in my mind.
For some reason I walked up the side of the hill, along the path taken by walkers. I passed a field in which I knew there was a solitary stone that emanated bad energies, and I made sure I walked around its area of influence before I got up onto the side of the hill that provided lovely views over my local area. I stopped, admiring the view, then began to look for a way into the fenced off part of the hill. I soon found an animal track, and noticed that the wire was a bit looser where the animal track entered the hill’s sparsely forested side. Squeezing myself carefully under the barbed wire I began my ascent through swathes of bracken, climbing upwards all the time towards the summit. I found it was easier to follow the animal tracks – clearly they knew the best way!
I got to the top of the hill and found an old oak tree with a long low branch that was positively inviting me to sit on it. So I did. There was no view to speak of here, because the trees all around obscured it. So, I thanked the tree for offering a seat to me, and I pushed on, heading towards the heart of the hilltop. Only a few minute’s walk and I was in an area that was both wilder and yet lighter than the other parts of the hilltop. A vaulted canopy was created by some very old oak trees whose top branches formed the slightest roof. Beneath this canopy was a wide space, almost like a natural church aisle. I stopped to look at it, resting my back against an oak tree that formed the ‘font’ of this natural church. I marvelled at this formation, and began to wonder if this was a place where I could find some freedom and peace? The Sun was behind some clouds at this point, and there was no wind, so it seemed incredibly peaceful.
I stood up. I projected the thought out into the wood, “Am I welcome here?” – to which a crow in a nearby tree top cawed a response. “Would I be permitted to use this place as my sacred nemeton – my place of free expression?”, I asked to the trees and any nature spirits that might inhabit the area. A wind blew up out of nowhere and rustled the tops of the trees in response to me. I have become more accustomed to the signs that Nature gives now. I knew this was a positive response, but I wanted more assurance. I called out to the elements to confirm this, asking them to show me a sign if they agreed with the trees. A gust of wind blew stronger now, visibly shaking all the trees on the hilltop, then going completely silent again. At that moment, as I looked up imploringly to the sky, the sun moved out from behind a cloud. A shaft of sunlight streamed through the trees and threw a spotlight into my ‘church’ illuminating its length, and then the sun faded behind a cloud again. There was no delay between the asking and the receiving a response – it was within seconds, that was what was so astonishing.
I had my answer. This was my place to work with druidry and natural magick. Permission had been granted. I thanked the trees, and everything that had got involved in that decision, and I followed a more natural path down the other side of the hill. Going home I felt utterly contented now. I had a special place to work, one where I felt I could be truly free in Nature. Let the summer days be long and fruitful!
Gwas Myrddyn.
Fledgling druid.
Hill of Tara – Part 1: Retrieving the Earth Spirit
The Hill of Tara – Thursday 27th May
It was late in the evening when we decided to grab a ‘travelling tea’ and head on up to the hilly complex of sites known as The Hill of Tara [info], the legendary site that was famous throughout Ireland as the seat of ancient Irish kings. We found it despite the SatNav trying its best to deceive us, as it had many times earlier in the day.
On approaching the visitor centre (how nice to see a disused church being put to good use) we spotted a huddled group of people (“loons” Kal called them) some dressed in traditional garb of cloak and sporting staffs, standing huddled on a grey gravelled spot next to a May Tree and at the top of the hill. We ignored them for fear of a conversation we might not enjoy, and instead contented ourselves initially with a recce of the graveyard that surrounded the now-closed visitor centre.
In the graveyard Kal spotted a power centre aligned to himself (“I bet it’s in the middle of those trees”, he stated and then proved it) and I found one close by that was a definite circle in the grass. This done we headed for the “good stuff” in the main complex.
Kal was first to reach all the parts of the site adjacent to the graveyard. I was him atop the Mound of the Hostages, then he was bounding over to the twin standing stones (including the so-called Stone of Destiny) and then on to an earthwork next to it. Here he paused a while before coming back.
Whilst he did all that I was up on the MOTH watching the spectacular sunset as the sun’s rays played with the low-lying lands before me. I marvelled at just how many hilltops could be seen in all directions from this place. I felt the surge of energy coming up from the mound and noticed that I was standing in the smaller sized bare earth patch on the top of the mound. It was smaller than the other patch that was offset from the centre. About the same ratio as the sun to the moon, I mused
Guiding Lights and Earth Elements
I asked the dowsing rods to take me to a place where I could interact with a guiding spirit who might help me through a pilgrimage type quest. I was set upon visiting sites over the weekend that would promote my consciousness levels through the attunement of my chakras. I was asking for a guiding spirit to lead me safely through that in this land where I had no concept of what I might find. The rods obliged by taking me to the nearby celtic cross. Not something that I had expected, so that was interesting, and not something I had expected to be interested in. I stood there for a few moments and felt a presence surround me as I stared wistfully into the oncoming sunset’s purple and pink light. This was a presence I had felt before – and I knew its name. This was my helpful teacher/guide of previous adventures, and with that re-assurance I moved on to other tasks, knowing we would meet again soon.
I knew what I wanted to do now. At this place, a place of earthly treasures, of earth and stone, this was a place where I should try to fulfill the final part of my own Celtic cross – the fourth element in my crossed circle: the earth element. So far I had been successful in Cumbria at retrieving the assistance of three other elemental forces: water, fire and air. Here was an opportunity to re-acquaint myself with the earth element.
I did some work to recall this particular elemental. At the conclusion of the work I felt a tingle through my feet- and then I felt the power of the earth rising up through my legs. I felt like I should now unite all these forces again, so I called each of the other elements to mind. The appropriate element flared up inside me, and then around me. When I mentioned the name of the wind it blew. When I called the fire, the sun burst through the clouds to glint in my eye. When I called on water I smelled the dampness rising from the grass. When I called for earth my feet felt riveted to the earth and I felt an upsurge of earth energies beneath me.
This place is special. I felt absolutely empowered by it. So much so that I went off dowsing to find the most empowering place for me. It was at a low-lying earth work near to the church and next to the MOTH. I stood on that spot and felt replenished, filled, revitalised. And happy.
The Chakra Map
I wonder if the features of Tara’s hill could be considered to be a map of the chakras? I only postulate this after returning back to England and seeing an old plan of the site. I present this possibility as an aside, and as something that someone might like to investigate if I don’t get back there soon. Here’s the concept:
The only correlation is that there are seven “raths” identifable on the site, which are areas of embanked earth in a circular form.
The Crow and The Crone
I bounded back to find Kal who was, as expected, in the churchyard. He looked….disturbed. I told him how amazing it all was, and he trumped it. He told me he had been sitting next to the remains of a stone wall when a crow landed a few feet in front of him cawing at him. Kal has an affinity with crows – they are his totem bird – but this was different. When he asked it what it wanted it responded by telling him its name – it cawed at him “Cay-leach, cay-leech”. Clearly the bird had been speaking to him because he said that it offered to be his teacher, and to teach him about the ways of the dead, of dead spirits and their energies This is something he has been denying himself for several months now, even though he had been given the name “Spirit Walker“ by the yew at Llangernyw. He saw in a split-second vision as the bird flew up to join a noisy cluster of other crows that it was an old woman that had become a crow.
He told me this and I asked if he had accepted the offer. He said he hadn’t decided yet, but had dismissed the crow for now while he checked it out. As I drove us back to the hotel we discussed what the potential spelling of the word “Cay-leech” might be. I suggested it might contain “Cai” as the first part, then perhaps “leach” as the second, because it sounded vaguely Gaelic in form. Kal Googled the name “caileach” on my phone. It came back with this: “Did you mean “Cailleach?” – he clicked the link – “Cailleach is the name given to the crone form of the Triple Goddess of pagan lore. She is primarily associated with death.”
Kal had seemingly come into contact with an archetype of the triple goddess of pagan lore herself, and the crone had offered to teach him all about death and death energies at a church yard at Tara – the Hill of the Kings. That was how it seemed to us at that moment. He was in a quandary as to whether to accept or not. I told him we would go back in a few days and he could decide then whether to accept the offer.
Little did we know that other events would make that decision easier for him over the next few days, and we would encounter more of Ireland’s legendary spirits in the process. The whole trip had just taken the most bizarre turn!
Gwas
Forming The Eggshell: Runcorn Hill, Cheshire.
Runcorn Hill, Cheshire. September 14th 2008
To set the scene – it was a lovely crisp yet warm September weekend morning when we drove out to some sites that were fairly local. The weather was getting better all the time, and Kal and I headed for Runcorn Hill. After having to turn back to get a better map (!) we drove purposefully to the Visitor Centre on Runcorn Hill (which was closed of course) where we surveyed the manicured sports courts and lawns.
After admiring the wooden sculpture and distinctly pagan imagery decorating the small park, we headed out towards the hilltop. Neither of us having visited the place before it wasn’t long before we resorted to being led by the dowsing rods in search of the top of the hill. Within minutes we had found it exactly. And right in front of us was a tall buzzing electricity pylon!
We both prickled and shuddered with the foul energy this line of pylons were emitting, close as it was to the end of the small humped rise which forms Runcorn Hill’s highest point. Nearby were a couple of young birch trees, one behind us dividing the path to the hilltop, and the other to the right-hand side. We dowsed for ten minutes of so trying to locate energies and found a bewildering confusion of all sorts of lines, but nothing which made sense to us – nothing like we had seen elsewhere. These lines on the hillock seemed to be short, incomplete and weak.
The only clear good line emanated from a power centre on the hillock, down its left edge, round the end nearest the pylons, and came back through the birch tree at the rear of the site. Then it reconnected with the power centre again. This line also had swirls of male energy which branched off this circuit occasionally.
We decided that we should test for the qualities of the site as a whole, but our questions were met with responses which made us concerned for the welfare of the energies at the site:
- Firstly we asked whether there was an unhealthy link with the pylons – there was.
- Then we asked whether the link was having an effect further afield – the unhealthy energy was travelling into every home in the area we learned after more specific questioning
- We asked whether we could uncouple the site from the bad effects of the energies – no!
- Kal dowsed to see whether he could help in any way – yes, he could help.
- I dowsed to see whether I could prevent the bad energy coming into the site – not myself, but I could assist Kal’s work.
Those questions formed the basis of our next experiment: could we actually modify the dowsable framework of energies surrounding this site, and would that effect improve the stability of the energies?
We prepared ourselves without words for the task ahead – not any of which did we foresee or work out. For my part I went over to the birch tree and looked underneath its sparse canopy of branches. There I saw three stones, all hand-sized, and one caught my eye in particular so I picked it up. It was a small stone, the size of a palm, of the purest red sandstone rock that is typical of the geology of that area. For some reason, looking back now, I picked the “purest” stone. The others were mottled with lichen, other coloured stone, or some other impurity. I don’t know if that helped what was to follow, but now I think that perhaps that was helpful.
Kal sat down to tune into his Reiki powers, facing the birch tree at the end of the ridge. I did the same. The rods informed us which way we needed to face to get the best effects, of what – we didn’t actually know yet! The only parameters we had agreed upon was to form a kind of shield of energy around the site with the aim of blocking the harmful pylon energies, or at least reducing its impact. The idea of the energies dissipating in a relatively short time frame like 50-100 years made us agitated, and evoked our sense of welfare.
Now, we have often questioned whether we should try to affect energy fields at sites. We don’t want to blunder into making the situation worse, but at the same time I strongly adhere to the notion that work entered into with the right intentions, and a good attitude, will lead to positive and successful results with little harm to ourselves. Our tools are not naivety, or wishful thinking, but strongly held hope. Turns out this was true on this occasion. Each occasion is a new question, though, and we will always ask before trying anything. That said, here’s what I did.
I sat down and tried to feel the edges of the birch tree’s nemeton – it’s outer edge of aura, or spirit, if you like – by closing off external noise and reaching out until I felt the tree. I was trying to tune into the tree’s influence, basically. All the time I was sitting, holding my small rock by my root chakra point in cupped and linked hands. I know of no significance to this, only that this position had felt comfortable for meditation on previous occasions, and holding the rock in that way allowed my intent to ‘fall into’ or ‘flow down to’ the stone. But at that moment nothing like that was happening!
As I sat I could hear a local football match in the distance, I could hear the birds twittering, and the traffic far below…..I actively switched them off. But no immediate connection – something was still distracting me, and I couldn’t work out what it was. At that moment a fly landed on my left temple. Hey! C’mon! That’s not helping, I protested to no-one in particular in my mind. The fly buzzed off and left me. Thank you! I settled back down to work again, trying to clear my thoughts. That fly landed again in exactly the same place – harder if that’s possible! Oi! Mother Nature! What the…..then I burst out laughing. She was sending me a sign, and I completely understood what it was, without the need to vocalise or put the thought into words. She was telling me that there was something I should do before I settle into this work. I took the hint.
I put the small stone on the power centre, then got up and felt my way slowly towards the birch tree with the palm of my hands towards the tree, feeling for its nemeton – it’s outer edge. I needed to introduce myself to it, I half-admonished myself, how rude I was being just expecting things to flow without an introduction at the very least! About ten feet from the tree I felt it’s energetic edge – it’s spherical auric extent. It felt like gently pushing a soft pillow, like feeling a slightly warm breath of air pushing back at you, if you cared to notice. I did care, and I was noticing. I introduced myself politely, and asked the tree if it would kindly show me where to connect my energy to on this nemeton’s edge. Slightly further round its front edge I felt a flow, like the gentle breath of a dragon, flowing outwards over the ridge. I felt it with my hands, now that I had a sense of what it felt like, and followed it back to where I had been sitting. So, it was flowing into this spot, it’s just that I hadn’t been tuned into it properly. Now I was, so I sat back down, and picked the small red rock up again.
Immediately I could feel not only the flow of energy coming into me from the birch tree, but something else coming into my back – it was Kal! I really had opened myself up to the flow now! I allowed the energy to flow round for a short while, then I started to will it to enter into the red rock in my hands. When I felt it was full, and even overflowing – white threads of energy lines spilling out all around me, I wondered what to do to hold it all together. I needed something to stabilise this flow. I started a ‘root and branch’ druid meditation which consisted of imagining the energy sinking into the ground as seeking roots. Once this was established, I thought of silver energy branches flowing upwards above and around me like an umbrella. Together, the roots and branches slowly enclosed me in a sphere of shining silvery threads.
I revelled in this for a moment, then started to focus on the energy in the stone. I imagined a manifestation pattern the likes of which I had seen before – four petals extending in the four cardinal directions, growing with each out-breath until they touched an egg-shaped energy shape that I could see around the whole site. On the in-breath I drew more energy from the tree and the surrounding landscape into this process until I had ‘breathed’ or ‘puffed up’ the petals so that they were touching (supporting?) the energy structure that I felt was Kal’s barrier shell. When I was happy that it had stabilised and was solid, I opened my eyes to return back to consciousness and awakening.
I left the stone in the power centre I had been sitting in, and saw Kal rise up too. I felt the urge to slough off a snake’s skin, almost as if taking off or letting fall a pair of workman’s overalls!! It felt like I had taken off a used skin, but I felt it was necessary, and I knew that the work was done with that gesture – the energies were disconnected. There was no conscious thought in this act either – I just felt I had to do it, so I mentally played it out with belief.
As we finished our ‘cleansing’ routines we barely said a word, but exchanged smiles, glances and nods confirming that we thought we had done something. Now the test! We got the rods out and set off on the hunt for new energy lines, shapes and patterns. I found two things: firstly the manifestation of the petals was gone, but instead there was a circle connecting my energy centre to the one Kal had been sitting in! Secondly, as I dowsed down the hillock I found a new boundary. I dowsed for the width of this energy area – it was at least EIGHT FEET WIDE! Blimey! Much bigger than we could have imagined (or was it!).
I watched Kal dowsing the outer edge of the barrier we had created. It really was there. It really was something new. We had really been involved in creating it! But was it going to have any effect? Kal dowsed for the answer – he found that we had extended the life of the energies by up to a year more. Hardly massive on the scale of 50-100 years, but … well, we were both pleased and amazed. It had worked! And we had had no idea what we were doing, other than a good intention to help preserve the site’s energies.
We packed our stuff away, said our humble thanks for the experience, then practically skipped away back down the hill with delight. I was buzzing with ‘aliveness’ for hours afterwards. Whatever we had done, we had done something special, and we were rewarded for our efforts with the thrill of Nature’s touch.
Gwas
Follow your true path.













